


Tattoo

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: AU, Angst, Comfort, Fluff, Hurt, Injury, M/M, Magic, Pain, Portals, Terrible writing- I'm sorry, Will have a happy ending, eventually, i'm terrible at tags, im sorry, more characters to come too, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-22 05:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8274538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kenma was the first to notice. The slight wobble in Shouyou’s stance, now becoming increasingly obvious, as the orange haired boy missed his second spike. Kenma himself was a little shaken by Kageyama’s yelling, but the way Shouyou swayed on his feet wasn’t from fright. Nekoma’s rotation brought Kenma closer to the right side of the net, directly in front of the swaying boy. Kenma reached out under the net grabbing the boys arm, Shouyou’s skin unexpectedly hot, leaving Kenma’s hands feeling like they were almost burning on contact. “Shouyou?” Kenma spoke, the other boy spinning round to face Kenma. His brown eyes glazing over as he slipped from Kenma’s loose grasp. Thud. He should have said something sooner.------ENDEDSorry for those that were reading, I just don't have the time or motivation for this anymore.





	1. Dream or Nightmare?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy! This will be hopefully a biggish project with other fandoms and characters coming in soon!

Kenma was the first to notice. The slight wobble in Shouyou’s stance, now becoming increasingly obvious, as the orange haired boy missed his second spike. Kenma himself was a little shaken by Kageyama’s yelling, but the way Shouyou swayed on his feet wasn’t from fright. Nekoma’s rotation brought Kenma closer to the right side of the net, directly in front of the swaying boy. Kenma reached out under the net grabbing the boys arm, Shouyou’s skin unexpectedly hot, leaving Kenma’s hands feeling like they were almost burning on contact. “Shouyou?” Kenma spoke, the other boy spinning round to face Kenma. His brown eyes glazing over as he slipped from Kenma’s loose grasp. Thud. He should have said something sooner.

\-----

“Hinata!” Kageyama’s yell brings both teams to a halt. Kenma’s breath catches as he reaches for Shouyou, the small boy lying in a crumpled heap on the ground. “Don’t touch him!” Kageyama screams, sending Kenma stepping backwards in a terrified panic. He hadn’t done anything wrong had he? Why couldn’t they touch him? Was it an injury? Sickness? Kenma swayed slightly, his mind racing.

Shouyou's eyes fluttered back open, as the boy gave a pained whine, realising he was on the ground. Kageyama was at Shouyou’s side, pushing away the rest of his team as they tried to get close to the boy. “I said don’t touch him!” The dark haired boy’s voice caught slightly as he turned to look at Shouyou. “Shit.” The orange haired boy was pulling himself up to sit on the court. From where he stood, Kenma could see it too. Shouyou’s shirt fell back down again as he sat up but for a brief second; Kenma was sure he saw fiery red and black streaked down the side of Shouyou’s pale skin.

"Shit. Shit. Shit.” Kageyama knelt on the floor next to Shouyou. He must have noticed the strange coloured marks too, as he helped Shouyou pull off his shirt, exposing the mark fully. Now everyone could see it.

Dark black ink in the form of a tree curled up Shouyou's right side, its roots trailing off in thin lines over his skin. Below the tree a clawed slash mark as if from a large beast stretched from just below Shouyou's chest to his hip. The black ink surrounded by burning red skin. Kenma inhaled sharply, a stabbing pain briefly hitting his back. Kageyama pulled his own shirt back revealing part of a similar inflamed mark. Neither team moved.

What were the supposed to do? Kenma stumbled forward, finding himself a little off balance. Kageyama hissed threateningly at him, his usual scowl Kenma noted was now pained defensiveness. Shouyou gave a confused blink, then reached for Kageyama’s arm in panic. “Hinata!” Kageyama cried. The whitening of Shouyou’s knuckles and Kageyama's slight wince, as Shouyou's nails dug into his arm, had Kenma's own arms shaking a little to rid himself of their pain.  
A shiver ran through Kenma's body, that sharp pain was again stabbing at his back. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching and unclenching fists to try and find something stable to ground his spinning head. Kenma's head began to throb and as he blinked his eyes open his vision swirled. Kuroo's large hands clapped down on Kenma's shoulders, grounding him and pulling him back a few steps to steady himself against Kuroo's side. Kenma released a shaky breath, grateful his friend had noticed his delimer and correct him without drawing attention.

Shouyou and Kageyama were still sitting on the floor, Shouyou's grip releasing on Kageyama's arm as they talked in strained whispers. Kenma couldn't make out the words but after a nod from Shouyou, Kageyama looked up at the surrounding players. “We have to go.”

Kageyama paused between each sentence as if he was still trying to think of what he was saying. “You might not remember… But this has happened before. We won't be long.”

His explanation leaving more questions than answers, Kageyama reached out and pulled Shouyou to his feet. “We’ll be fine.” Kageyama seemed to add that part as an afterthought.

Balancing the smaller orange haired boy under one arm, Kageyama reached out his other free hand, pressing two fingers against the inked claw marks.

The mark briefly glowed, a hot white that faded under Kageyama's touch before a howled gust of wind and they had gone.

Kenma stumbled, leaning further into Kuroo's grip as he stared at the empty floor space the two players had just been. Everyone's faces had paled, the gym deathly silent. The sudden realisation of what just happened beginning to hit everyone.

Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio had just vanished from existence.

The pain and panic in Kenma's chest made it difficult to breath, waves of heat flushed through his body. “Captain.” Kuroo broke the silence, calling across the net to the almost paralysed Karasuno. “We’ll pack up here. Get your team back safely.” Kenma felt Kuroo's grip on him tighten as Kuroo's protectiveness kicked in. “Same with your team.” Karasuno’s captain seemed still together. The rest of his team… Kenma hoped they made it back home soon, the sickeningly pale faces and teary eyes after what scary supernatural event they might have just witnessed. They had just lost two team mates. With no explanation. Possibly forever. Nope, they would come back, Kenma corrected himself. He was probably just dreaming. That was it. Dreaming. Maybe a nightmare.  
He took a step out of Kuroo's grasp and his legs promptly gave way beneath him.

\-----

“I'll be back in a sec then.” Kenma pulled heavy eyelids open to find himself being carried by Kuroo.The world still spinning around him as he heard his teammates voices drift away. They were leaving the gym but he couldn't make out anything around them. “Kuroo, where are we going?” He had to ask. “Back to the bus.” Kuroo smiled down a him. Kenma remained silent, trying to gather his thoughts as to how he got here.  
“You passed out.” Kuroo answered for him. “The others will finish packing up the gym soon and we'll head back to training camp.” Kenma gave a small nod.

“Can you stand?” Kuroo lowered Kenma onto the ground, giving him a hand to steady himself on. “I'm fine Kuroo.” Kenma’s legs wobbled a little and his vision spun still but he wasn't gonna tell Kuroo. Kuroo left Kenma to unlock the bus, swinging open the front door then heading back to Kenma to nudge him onto the bus.

Taking one of the front rows of seats Kenma sat next to the window, leaning on it to prop himself upright. “You all good here?” Kuroo's eyes flicked out the buses door towards the gym. “Yea.” Kenma sighed his response, closing his eyes to sleep.


	2. Magic?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's not as long as it was gonna be, but I've posted this early.
> 
> Enjoy!

Kenma woke, painful cramps causing him to squirm and kick a leg out, whacking something hard in front of him. Stinging eyes flew open as the small boy sat up in a panic. What did he just kick? Where was he? He shook his head, letting out a wheezing breath, blond hair falling loosely over his face. It was just a seat he'd kicked. He knew these seats; knew this bus.

Kenma lay back down on the seats, curling into a tight ball. His eyes welling up with tears. It felt as if something had punched a hole through his chest. His stomach had tied in knots and his lungs were filled with sharp splinters, each breath causing them to rip into him.

He could hear himself wheezing and finally realised how quiet the bus was.

Where was his team? Why wasn't Kuroo here? Kenma's breathing became more panicked as he realised he was alone. Each breath becoming more painful, until he could barely hear approaching voices. Tears running down his pale cheeks as his eyes squeezed closed. The ringing in his ears blocking out the approaching footsteps.

"Kenma?" Kuroo's voice caused the boy to inhale sharply, making him squeak at the pain it caused. He tried to calm his breathing, open his eyes and pull himself up to look at Kuroo. The movement set his head spinning.

"You really don't look good." Kuroo commented giving Kenma a frown. "You might want to sit up to help your breathing."

Kenma thought he'd calmed his breathing enough but Kuroo had noticed. In fact the whole bus had noticed.

Kenma looked up, his team filing into seats unusually quietly, everyone casting worried glances in his direction. The small boy could feel his cheeks burning, the last thing he wanted was for everyone to see him like this.

Tears still streaked across his face, he sunk back down into his seat, wiggling himself over to make room for Kuroo. The tall dark haired boy sat down. He turned to Kenma, whispering, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone here."

Kenma wiped his tears on the sleeve of his jersey, looking away from Kuroo, before pulling his legs up to his chest in a tight hug. The pressure on his chest making breathing easier. Kuroo finally turned away, taking the hint that Kenma couldn't talk.

The rest of the team went back to chatting, although a little reserved from normal. The events of Kageyama and Hinata's disappearance weighing on them all like bricks.

Kenma stayed silent the rest of the bus trip, staring out the window, idly watching houses pass by. Kuroo didn't try getting him to talk either. Kenma was pleased at that, he'd just wanted to listen to his own thoughts for awhile.

Were Shouyou and Tobio safe? Were they still somewhere around here? Maybe, more importantly, were they even alive? Tobio had said that it had happened before. So did that mean they disappear often? Was it just a trick? Or had something serious happened?

Kenma doubted Shouyou had the brains to pull off an immaculate disappearance trick like this. And the way his team had reacted; it certainly wasn't set up by someone else. So that only left that it wasn't joke and something serious had happened.

How was it even possible to just disappear like that? Kenma searched his brain for any possible answer. Nothing came to mind, except magic. However, magic only existed in games and stories; this was the real world, sadly. So how did it happen? Kenma swallowed, they really did disappear. They really were gone. Maybe forever. There must be some explanation.

\------

"Hey, you okay to walk?" Kuroo waved a hand over Kenma's glazed eyes. "Yea I'm fine." Kenma shook his head, his golden eyes returning to focus on Kuroo.

The rest of the bus was loading off already. Everyone drowsily wandering into the training camp dorm they stayed in. 

Kuroo shuffled out into the isle of the bus, taking a side glance at the still sitting Kenma before hopping off, taking both their bags with him.

Kenma slowly stood. He wasn't gonna embarrass himself again.

The spinning in his head he would ignore, slow steps, looking straight forward. His rattling breath was quiet, almost unnoticeable if he slowed his breathing. Left foot, right foot. He took hold of the backs of each of the seats as he passed them. Left, right, left. The front of the bus now. It had 2 little steps till the ground. Kenma closed his eyes leaning on the last seat beside him. Steady breaths. He opened his eyes, the world blurred into a twirling mass of bright lights. Focus. Breath. Stop this spinning headache. 

"Need a hand?" Kuroo was waiting at the bottom of the steps, the rest of Nekoma in the dorm already. "No." Kenma grit his teeth. Right foot, left foot, step down. He made it. Kuroo snorted, nudging Kenma towards the open door of the dorm.

The stable ground a little easier to manoeuvre now that the fresh air was clearing his head. Taking off shoes at the door, they made their way into their designated sleeping room.

The floor was lined with bedding and bags, the rest of their team already lounging around on the blankets strewn over the place. Showers, dinner and the inevitable discussion on what had happened at today's game, were going to fill the rest of their night.

However, Kenma didn't want any of it. He just wanted to sleep. To get rid of the pain in his back and stomach, the swirling in his head, and the dread that clawed at his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the most eventful of chapters, sorry.  
> I promise a plot will come.


	3. Will I disappear?

Kuroo struggled getting to sleep that night. He twisted, rolling to his side to face the sleeping Kenma beside him. The small boy's blond hair fell softly around his face, perfectly framing his features. Kuroo stared at the boy, watching his chest as it rose and fell at an uneven pace.

The disappearance of those Karasuno first years seemed to have really shaken Kenma, but Kuroo was almost sure now that something else was wrong. Kenma hadn't eaten, nor had he stayed up playing games like usual. Kenma had probably thought no one would notice; but Kuroo did.

Everywhere they went Kuroo watched out for the small setter. It had become a habit of his, to look for Kenma. He was always the first person Kuroo noticed when he entered a room now. The setters tiny, calm presence, something easily overlooked but also something Kuroo found himself attracted to.

However, watching the boy now, that peace was gone. Kuroo could see his breathing faltering, the boy's fists clenched around the edge of his blanket as he lay curled in a tight ball.

A scratchy cough escaping Kenma's throat set Kuroo on edge. Kuroo squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the blanket back over his face, to shut out the view of his friend.

He hated seeing Kenma like this, the blond boy was obviously not alright. But the boy would never tell anyone if he needed help. Kuroo hoped Kenma would be okay in the morning; he was struggling to sleep as it was. Right now, Kuroo would rather the small boy be curled up safe in his arms. However, in this room full of people, he wouldn't. He'd talk to Kenma tomorrow, when they were out of site of the team.

It made it hard to sleep, listening to the strain in Kenma's breathing but Kuroo must have eventually drifted off.

\------

Next thing he knew Kuroo was being shoved awake by a rude kick. His senses waking, ears immediately filling with quiet sobbing and whispering voices. It was still dark, maybe early morning, he guessed.

He pulled himself up, throwing off blankets. The rest of Nekoma was already awake. Everyone standing around them.

"Kenma?" Kuroo recognised the crying. Kenma let out a loud sob. The boy was lying on his side on the mattress beside Kuroo, just as he had been when Kuroo went to sleep. "Kenma?" Kuroo asked again trying to mask the panic in his voice.

What had happened in the short time he'd been asleep? Was Kenma sick? Hurt? Scared? Was it to do with the disappearance?

Kuroo's mind began to fill with questions and worry, with no reply from Kenma other than a few sobs, he gulped down the panic. Kuroo's eyes adjusted to the dark and he reached out. He gently brushed Kenma's hair off his forehead, so he could check the boy's temperature. Kenma flinched slightly at the touch but didn't roll away from Kuroo's hand. He pressed his palm onto Kenma's forehead, feeling the heat burn his hand. Tiny fingers grabbed at Kuroo's own hand as Kenma pulled it off his head, but he didn't let go. He held tightly to Kuroo's hand and Kuroo's breath caught a little as he squeezed tightly back, Kenma's shaking hand tiny, compared to his own.

"Kenma, what's wrong?" Kuroo still hadn't heard a word from him and although the sobbing had stopped, tears still filled the boys golden eyes. "It- it hurts." Kenma stuttered over the words. "He said it was his back that hurt." Yaku shrugged at Kuroo from beside Kenma's head. Kuroo had almost forgotten the rest of team was there; he'd been too absorbed watching Kenma. "His back?" Kuroo couldn't remember any injury with Kenma's back. Maybe he'd hurt it when he fell passing out yesterday.  
"I can't move." Kenma let out a whisper.  
"Can you roll over?"  
"I- I can't." Kenma's sobbing started back up again.  
"Hey. Calm down." Kuroo took hold of Kenma's other free hand, so he was now holding both his hands. "I'm gonna roll you onto your back, okay?"  
Kenma nodded. Kuroo didn't know if it would aggravate any injury but Kenma wanted to move back, so it must be ok.

Kuroo nodded to Yaku, who now crouched next to them. His hands were still holding Kenma's, so he let Yaku take Kenma's shoulders and gently push him into his back.

Kuroo didn't know what was happening; he just knew it wasn't good. The painful scream released from Kenma's body, the boy's nails digging deep into Kuroo's hands, cutting like blades and drawing blood. Kuroo couldn't move, couldn't think, the panic and pain too much.

"Get him off the floor!" Yaku was screaming at them over the noise. "Pick him up!" The screaming stopped and dissolved into distressed sobbing as Kenma was pulled up from the floor, into Lev's arms.

Kuroo blinked, watching the blood begin to drip from his hands as Kenma was pulled away from him. He had no idea what just happened.

"Kuroo-" Kenma looked down at his own hands from where he sat in Lev's arms. "Kuroo." He sobbed. Lev lowered the boy to stand on the ground. Kuroo immediately swooped over to pull him into his own arms. "Kuroo- im sorry." Kenma managed to choke out between sobs, muffling his words as he buried his face in Kuroo's shirt. "It- it hurt too much. And I didn't- I didn't know what to do." Kuroo could feel his own tears beginning to surface, not in front of the team, not in front of the team. He simply closed his eyes, hiding it. "It's ok, I'm fine Kenma." He bent down, so that their faces were centimetres apart. "You shouldn't apologise, it was my fault." Kuroo released his embrace on Kenma to hold the boy's face between his hands. "I'm sorry." He whispered quietly, so only Kenma could hear. "It's not your fault." He released Kenma, then decided against it, after seeing him sway and his feet stumble a little, so he scooped him up.

He didn't really care what the team was thinking right now. Kenma was in pain. The blood that covered each of their hands, and smeared down their faces wasn't going to wash itself off, so Kuroo took Kenma and left for the bathrooms.

As he walked out the room Kuroo could hear their team begin to whisper; the voices filled with worry and fear.

The bathrooms weren't too far from their beds, a left down the hall, then right and through the first door. Kuroo walked slowly, trying to process recent events. 

Kenma lay silent in his arms, his face buried in Kuroo's neck, fingers loosely curled around Kuroo's shirt as if he hoped to never let go.

"Kuroo!" Yaku ran up behind him. "How are your hands?"  
"Fine. I guess." Kuroo didn't really know. The amount of blood smeared over them seemed a lot, he'd probably have some scars.  
"I'll bring through some towels and clothes for you guys soon." The other boy opened the bathroom door for Kuroo to get through before disappearing off down the hall.

No one was in the bathrooms, so Kuroo locked the door behind them, briefly juggling Kenma's weight within his arms to do so. Kenma didn't seem to make an response to the rough jostling and instead seemed to be asleep.

Kuroo settled himself down to sit on the floor, Kenma still lying in his arms, he'd let him sleep for a while. Kenma's breathing had evened out and although he still had a fever, he seemed peaceful.

Kuroo allowed himself a small smile, as silent tears trickled down his cheeks. He buried his face in Kenma's hair, squeezing the frail boy tightly in his arms.

\------

"Kuroo?" Kenma whispered. Kuroo pulled his eyes open. They both still sat on the bathroom floor. Kenma, now awake, still curled in his arms. "Kenma." Kuroo breathed back, the small boys face turning to look up at him.

The dawn light that crept through the thin window above them hinted that it was now early morning. Kenma had dried blood encrusted over his face and through his hair, the dark red staining his uniform. Kuroo assumed he looked the same.

"Let's wash this off." Kuroo rubbed a finger down Kenma's cheek, smearing the blood that was there. The boy nodded, pulling himself from Kuroo's grasp, he used the wall to steady himself to stand.

Opening the far stall Kuroo flicked the shower on to heat up. He collected clean clothes and towels from just outside the bathroom door, Yaku must have dropped them there. The steam from the shower could be seen rising above the stalls door, so Kuroo stripped down to his boxers, ready to hop in.

Taking a glance to the side he noticed Kenma, still leaning against the wall, making no move to shower the blood off himself.

"Did you want to come in with me?" Kuroo asked, seeing Kenma's reliance on the wall for support, he knew the boy wouldn't be able to safely stand in a shower on his own.

Kenma gave a small whine, and Kuroo took that as encouraging. "Well you can't shower clothed." Kuroo strode over to him and began pulling off clothes.

Kenma flinched at his touch as Kuroo reached to pull off his shirt. Kuroo retracted quickly, "I'm not going to hurt you." He locked worried eyes with Kenma, before pulling the shirt up, over the setters head.

Kuroo's eyes instantly fell on the murky grey claw marks that stretched over Kenma's pale skin. "Wha- what is this?" Stunned, he grabbed Kenma's shoulders and spun the hesitant boy around so he could see his back better.

The three clawed scratch, spanned from Kenma's shoulder blades to just above his hips. It's slash crossing diagonally along the flesh and burning into the skin, turning it a agitated pink.

He tentatively reached out to stroke a finger along the grey marks. Kenma jerked out of his reach, a pained cry escaping his lips.

"That's why your back hurt." Kuroo stated the obvious, lost for any other explanation as to what it was. "Can we just get this blood off?" Kenma asked, making his way into the running shower. Kuroo gave himself a moment to recollect himself.

What was that on Kenma's back? An injury? No it definetly wasn't, nothing they had been through recently would make such perfect claw marks like that. Where had he seen marks like that before?

Kuroo followed Kenma into the shower. They both stood in silence, water running down over them as they stood side by side.

It had been years since they'd showered together; it used to seem so normal to just hop in together as kids. It was a little more difficult now; because of their age and size, but Kuroo knew Kenma probably better than he knew himself, and this wasn't the time to seem awkward.

The water below them turned red as blood drained off them. Kuroo taking time to examine his hands, Kenma keeping his back away from Kuroo and the water.

After much scrubbing Kuroo released a sigh of satisfaction, his sopping wet hair now cleanest it'd been in months. He then took to rinsing the water through Kenma's hair, the boy making no acknowledgement of Kuroo's presence.

"Kuroo-" Kenma's voice a barely audible whisper, "Do you think I'll disappear too?" The question was simple, yet worrying; and something Kuroo would never think could ever happen. However right now, it seemed possible and he couldn't give an answer. Those claw marks he remembered; they were the same as the inky black tattoo along Hinata Shouyou's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've got such irregular posting times but I just wanna get this up.
> 
> I promise plot will be coming soon and this was a bit of a slow chapter but it'll get better (hopefully) ^.^
> 
> Thanks so much for everyone that reads or leaves kudos!


	4. I will disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for posting once a week XD
> 
> Thank you everyone that's been reading!
> 
> Finally got KageHina coming back in this chapter, and this is where things will start to get busy. So please enjoy!

"Kuroo-" Kenma's voice a barely audible whisper, "Do you think I'll disappear too?" The question was simple, yet worrying; and something Kuroo would never think could ever happen. However right now, it seemed possible and he couldn't give an answer. Those claw marks he remembered; they were the same as the inky black tattoo along Hinata Shouyou's side.

 

\------

 

Kuroo felt his heart shrink, his stomach beginning to twist in knots. Kenma could disappear and there wasn't anything he knew to stop it.

Kuroo looked down at Kenma, who now stood at a slight lean, looking up into Kuroo's eyes. He couldn't lie to him. He knew Kenma had already noticed the fear in his eyes. And yet he would lie; even if they both knew it wasn't true.

Kuroo turned the shower off, pulling Kenma into an embrace, his hands running through the boys blond hair as he tried to keep away from touching his back. "I won't ever let that happen." Kuroo whispered, his voice cracking.

Kenma leaned further into Kuroo's embrace. His lips brushing gently against Kuroo's neck as he whispered, "I'm sorry Kuroo." Tears filled Kenma's eyes. There was already no space between them, but Kuroo managed to squeeze them even closer together. Their faces barely a few millimetres apart, breath mingling together between them.

How long did they have before he disappeared? Kuroo allowed himself to cry, his tears mixing with Kenma's own.

"I'm sorry." Kuroo choked through his glued up throat, "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry." Kuroo repeated over and over, the words bringing heaving sobs through his body and making him shake.

\------

Kenma didn't know what to do. He'd never seen Kuroo like this. The words Kuroo repeated echoed over and over in his head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He didn't know why Kuroo was apologising, it wasn't his fault that any of this happened.

This weird marking was the same one that Shouyou and Tobio had. Which, he had now come to the conclusion, was the thing that made them disappear. Kuroo was crying, and Kenma couldn't help but sob too.

He didn't want to disappear. As much as he hated parts of his life, he also loved parts of it.

He wasn't going to hurt Kuroo anymore, he didn't want Kuroo to see him disappear like Shouyou and Tobio. So he'd leave. Before he could hurt anyone, before the team even knew, he'd leave.

Kenma let out his last tears, falling silent. Either way he was going to disappear; so there was no point crying.

The water from the shower had long since evaporated, although Kenma could feel water on his face and in his hair and he knew it was from Kuroo's tears.

His own silence seemed to calm Kuroo and the tall boy stopped his sobbing. Kenma melted into Kuroo's arms, feeling the warmth and familiar comfort. Kuroo's heart beat drumming in Kenma's ears, he listened to it slow, matching his own. Kuroo's hands combed through his hair, and Kenma could feel him twisting knots into it.

The bathroom was lit in a golden glow, the sun fully up. Drafts of cold air swirled around them, making Kenma shiver.

"Kuroo-" Kenma reluctantly pulled away from him, "I'm cold."  
"Yeah, we should get dressed." Kuroo rubbed the back of neck, before opening the shower stall to find their clothes.

"Here." Kuroo held out a small pile of folded clothes. Kenma took them, quickly stripping his boxers and putting clean ones on.

Kuroo was already changed, wearing their usual Nekoma uniform. Kenma hesitated in putting his top on.

The uniform fitted him fine, but the small top size meant it pulled tight across his back when he moved. The rubbing of fabric on his inflamed skin was painful. Like a million bee stings, or having a hot iron burnt into your skin, it was the sort of pain that Kenma wanted to avoid.

He didn't want the others staring at him though; so he pulled the shirt on, gritting his teeth through the pain in movement.

"Would you be more comfortable in this?" Kuroo pulled off his own top and offered it to Kenma. Kenma nodded and took the offer.

The larger size giving him more space to move around without tight rubbing. Although the size looked a little silly on him, he appreciated that Kuroo knew he'd want it.

They both left the bathroom, Kuroo taking out a pile of their blood stained clothes. Kenma shuffled along behind Kuroo, following him to the washroom in silence.

Thankfully they didn't pass any of their team during the walk. Kenma wasn't ready for the faces that would stare at him. As much as he hadn't cared at the time, it was embarrassing now to think that he'd cried and screamed like that in front of his team.

Kuroo had seen everything, he didn't mind his childhood friend seeing him like this, but he'd like to keep up the calm, quiet facade in front of their teammates.

Kuroo headed out of the washroom, making his way to the kitchen and dining room. Kenma followed along, stopping just before they entered the door.

He could hear everyone inside the dining room, breakfast must have just been served up. He wasn't going to see them again. He didn't want them to see the mark. He didn't want to see the worry on their faces when they looked at him.

He was going to disappear. Disappear now; so they didn't have to worry when it would happen.

Kenma turned back down the hall, he could feel Kuroo's eyes following him. "Don't wanna see them?" Kuroo asked, taking two long strides that catch Kenma. "No." Kenma continued to walk, watching his feet.  
"You probably won't want to sleep back in there either?" Kenma nodded. "There are a few empty rooms about the place, we can move you into one?"  
"Yea." Kenma mumbled in agreement.

They spent the next few minutes picking out a room. They came to decide on a small, single bed, room that was just a few paces down the hall from where everyone else slept.

The room had a simple mattress bed, wooden desk, an uncomfortably hard chair, and a wide opening window that looked out at the forest behind them. The bed seemed much nicer than the mats they slept on on the floor, so Kenma made himself comfy, sitting atop the bed.

Kuroo meanwhile had gone back to the dining hall to have breakfast. That left Kenma a bit of time alone to sort out his disappearance.

He had no clue how long he had till he really disappeared; the grey of his mark was no comparison to the black of Shouyou's, so he guessed it'd have to change colour. But could that take weeks? Days? Hours? He'd have to try disappear tonight; it was going to be too hard to avoid everyone for any longer.

The room had a wide opening window, which if he used the chair as a foot up he could easily slip through. That would give him a straight path into the woods behind them. The throbbing headache he'd been ignoring for the past few hours finally broke his thoughts.

Kenma lay on his side on the bed, his back was still burning and sore, and after closing his eyes he let the feeling of exhaustion from last night sink in.

"Kenma- I'm coming in." Kuroo knocked and let himself into the room. Kenma opened his eyes again, barely having closed them.

"Hungry?" Kuroo held up a plate of food, Kenma's gear bag hanging from his other arm.

Kenma's stomach twisted and he felt as if he would throw up. There was no way he could keep any food down; he shook his head, screwing up his face. Kuroo sighed and placed the plate on the desk beside him, throwing Kenma's bag into the bed.

Kenma reached out, quickly unzipping the bag to pull out his PSP. He flicked the screen on, feeling the familiar buttons beneath his fingers. "Well I guess you're all good then." Kuroo laughed, hopping on the bed beside Kenma. Kenma sat up, allowing Kuroo to watch his screen.

They spent the rest of the day there. Kenma playing games, Kuroo watching over him. They not once mentioned the burning claw mark streaked across Kenma's back and no one in their team came to bother them.

Lunch came and passed, Kuroo taking a brief break to grab a snack, Kenma still not feeling like eating.

Dinner same again; except this time Kuroo forced Kenma into eating. Even if it was only small, and it make his stomach churn and his head spin, Kenma ate. It seemed to cheer Kuroo up when he ate, so he did.

And as the call for lights out came Kuroo hopped up to leave.

Kenma's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't ready. He didn't want Kuroo to leave. He couldn't bear to never see him again. Their last seconds together spent without goodbye.

Kenma reached out grabbing Kuroo's arm to stop him. Kuroo paused and Kenma took the chance to wrap his arms around Kuroo's waist, pulling him into a hug. Kuroo squeezed Kenma back, and Kenma nuzzled into Kuroo's neck, fighting back tears.

The last time he would ever see Kuroo. They broke apart and Kuroo left.

If he was going to disappear, now was the time. Kenma left his bag on the bed, taking possessions would be too obvious that he'd left. He slid the window open, cool night air making the hairs on his arms stand on edge. Standing on the chair he pulled himself through the window, managing to keep pain to his back at a minimum.

The drop from the window sent shocks through his knees and his legs buckled. He took off at a slight run for the forest, only stopping to walk once he was out of sight, hidden by the trees.

Tears were spilling down his face and his mind was racing with all sorts of desperate pleas. Where to now? He hadn't thought this far. So he ran. Through the dark and the cold and the tears and pain. He ran.

 

\------

 

(( Reverse time - Just as Kageyama and Hinata first disappear ))

"We'll be fine." Kageyama quickly tries to tell the onlooking teams. He didn't have time to explain what was really going on; and would anyone even believe them?

Locking eyes with Hinata's own he stares intently into them, reading everything the small boy was trying to say.

He was scared; they both were. The burning claw mark on Hinata's side was new, and they either left now by choice or would be forced later.

Hinata's brown eyes blinked slowly, and the small boy gave a tiny nod, agreeing with Kageyama's thoughts. They would go; now.

Kageyama pressed two fingers gently against the new dark claw mark. It burnt under his finger tips, the marks on his own side flaring with heat, as it began to glow a bright white. He pulled his fingers back, gripping Hinata tightly under his arm.

Every cell in his body shivered as they seemed to pull apart from him. A howling wind, catching every piece of his body and soul and throwing into the darkness of nowhere.

Kageyama felt Hinata slip out from under his grip and he lost him, floating through the hazy fog of nowhere. He couldn't see, couldn't feel, his body scattered in a million pieces around him. And just as he thought it would never end, it did.

Bright light assaulted his vision and his body pulled itself back together. A last howl of wind and he was pushed downwards, falling, then landing with a thud. Hinata's weight still tucked beneath his arm.

The loud roar of traffic filled his head and he heard Hinata call his name. He opened his stinging eyes.

The hum and glow of a busy city filled his senses. The loud honk of a car horn and he knew it was too late.

Throwing Hinata behind him, he took the full force of the oncoming car.

"Kageyama!" Hinata screamed. He felt his body go numb, crumbling beneath him into a bleeding heap on the road. Traffic screeching to a stop around them.

Panicked voices flowed around him. "They came out of nowhere?!" A figure approached, through the fuzzy black dots of Kageyama's vision.

His eyes needing to close and his mind slowly drifting away, "Kageyama!" Hinata's screams pierced through the haze.

"Go, help Hinata." He croaked out and tried to brush off strangers hands, Hinata needed help, leave him alone.

"Kageyama!" The scream sounded painful and broken, yet Kageyama couldn't tell where it came from.

He fell back into the ash felt of the road and lost consciousness.


	5. Ability Users

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a while to get out. I'm starting to branch into other worlds, so I hope you guys still enjoy it!
> 
> Thank you for everyone that's read or left kudos or a comment! You guys are awesome!

Hinata sat on the edge of a hospital bed. A young woman was bustling around the room, occasionally prodding at Hinata and noting things down.

Her eyes creased as she smiled at Hinata. "You'll be fine. Although we'll keep you here for a while, under observation." She places a clean glass of water on the cabinet beside the bed and leaves.

Hinata's eyes carefully followed the nurse out of the room. He felt numb all over.

He'd already spent two days here, alone in this unfamiliar hospital. Well not quite alone.

He swung his feet slightly and hopped down from the bed, the light blue hospital robe he wore falling down to his knees. Opening the door of his hospital room, he began to walk down the hallway, counting the doors.

One, two, three- the next door was a storage cupboard, so he didn't count it- four, five. He stopped at the sixth door and let himself in.

The small room had much more equipment in it, large machines beeping away, cables and tubes and bottles all over the place.

"Hey Kageyama." He forced himself to smile, despite the fact he wanted to cry. The black haired boy lay still, on the bed in the middle of the room.

Hinata pulled over an old chair from the corner and sat himself beside Kageyama's bed. He leaned forward, tracing a finger over the tubes the ran into the boy's arm.

"I guess it's day three here, in the city of Yokohama." He sighed, pinching his eyes shut to stop himself crying. "I don't know where we are, and I can't really tell them how we got here. For now, saying I have amnesia seems to keep away the questions."

Hinata knew he didn't have amnesia, he knew exactly what happened, he just couldn't tell anyone; that was the problem when it came to magic.

"They say you should wake up soon-" Hinata reached out taking Kageyama's still hand and twisting their fingers together.

"Please wake up soon." Watching the soft rise and fall of the boys chest gave Hinata a little comfort. He pulled his knees up to his chest, gripping tighter to Kageyama's hand.

"Please Kageyama. I'm scared." He whispered, hoping that Kageyama could hear him. Salty tears escaped his eyes and he buried his face in the soft sheets on the bed.

\------

Waking with a start Hinata felt a spike of pain prickle down his right side. A woollen blanket was draped across his back, his head still resting on Kageyama's bed. The curtains in the room were drawn but a thin strip of moonlight could be seen creeping out from under them.

The soft beep of the heart rate monitor had changed. It's usual steady rhythm was gone.

Kageyama's chest rose and fell in awkward movements. His breathing was faint and Hinata could feel his own chest beginning to seize up.

"Kage- Kageyama?!" Hinata threw the blanket off himself and fumbled round in the dark for a second. He found the call nurse button and frantically pressed it.

"Kageyama!?" He was screaming, gripping the black haired boys arm, trying to shake him awake.

The beep of the heart rate monitor was jumping all over the place. Sometimes it would jump, then it would fall silent.

He couldn't lose Kageyama.  
He wouldn't lose Kageyama.

The room filled with uniformed people. Hinata was in hysterics, fighting off anyone that tried to pull him away. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth as he bit down on a hand that tried to restrain him.

He was eventually wrestled out of the room and forced back into his own. The door locking behind him.

All the strength had drained from his body, blood staining round his mouth, right side burning and his vision blurred.

The pain was unbearable and Hinata couldn't tell if it was his own or Kageyama's he felt.

\------

Hinata stared at the ceiling. He lay on his hospital bed, his gown was ripped and dried blood encrusted over his face.

It had been hours and no one had come to see him. The sun was beginning to rise, it's weak light bringing a glow to the room.

The click of a lock brought Hinata's senses alive. The same young woman as always hesitantly walked in.

She stopped to stand beside the bed and stared at the orange haired boy. "Have you calmed down now?"

She took a step back as Hinata locked eyes with her. "Where's Kageyama?" Hinata kept his voice flat, eyes staring daggers at the girl.

"That other boy?" She paused to taking a seat on the end of the bed. "He's fine." Hinata bolted upright. A huge fog lifting from over him.

He was fine. Kageyama was okay.

"Can I go see him?" He rubbed sweaty hands on his gown, his legs shaking. "Not looking like that." The girl laughed and Hinata felt for a second she could have been Yachi.

"Let me clean you up and I'll take you to him." Hinata quickly nodded. He sat on the bed, letting her clean the blood from his face, then comb through his matted hair.

"You seem like quite close friends." The young nurse talks as she brings out clean bandages from a cabinet on the wall. "Yea." Hinata lifts his arm, letting her bandage the new scratches he must have got from last night.

"You like him, don't you?" She pats down the last bandage. Hinata felt his face drop. "Is it that obvious?" The girl laughs and ruffles his hair. He can't help but smile, a slight blush reddening his cheeks.

"Get changed, I'll be back soon." She places a pile of clean clothes on the bed and leaves, giving him some privacy to change.

Hinata strips off his gown, taking the clothes. A pair of shorts, a plain tee and jacket; nothing fancy. He pulled them on, tying the jacket round his waist; it was far too warm in here to wear it.

He sat back down on the bed. He was going to see Kageyama. It was all gonna be ok. They'd both be here, both be awake. They'd work through this; this strange new place. They'd have to find out where they were. Hinata remembered he'd already been told they were in Yokohama but he didn't recognise the name.

"Can I come in?" The nurse was back. Hinata hopped up, his stomach filled with butterflies.

They took off down the hallways, walking past the room where Kageyama had been staying, they walked down a maze of hallways before coming to a stop.

Hinata could barely wait for her to finish opening the door. He jumped up and down on his feet, his eyes bright with watery tears.

The door opened. He stepped inside.

There he stood; staring out the window. Dark hair in a messy sprawl over his head, morning light dancing over his skin.

"Kageyama!" Hinata ran at him, throwing his arms around the taller boy's waist. Kageyama spun around, pulling the small orange haired boy closer. "Hinata." He whispered into the boys hair.

Hinata began to cry, hot tears streaming down his face. He was so happy to see Kageyama again. He was safe. Everything would be okay.

"You are free to go." The nurse spoke and Hinata twisted himself around in Kageyama's arms to face her.

She smiled and left, another woman entering the room in her place.

This woman looked in her early 20s, a golden butterfly pinned into her short dark hair. Hinata sunk back into Kageyama. She didn't wear a hospital uniform and she wasn't a patient.

He gripped at Kageyama's shirt. A strong, dark aura had followed the woman into the room and it pulled at Hinata's soul, calling forth his fears and weaknesses.

Kageyama's hands slipped around Hinata's pulling him off his shirt. He seemed relaxed around the woman but Hinata wasn't letting his guard down just because Kageyama had.

"I'm Yosano Akiko, a doctor." She gracefully held out a hand to the two boys. Kageyama shook her hand and Hinata reluctantly copied the action.

"I believe you two are ability users." She nodded at them, "for your protection, we'll be taking you in at the Armed Detective Agency."

It wasn't an invite to join or an offer for protection; it was an order.

Hinata was yanked back by Kageyama as the boy stepped in from of him. "Ability users?" He asked, extending a protective hand out in front of the smaller boy. "Yes." Yosano's hands can up to sit on her hips.

Hinata had the same question. "What's an ability user?" He spoke up from behind Kageyama. "We're not ability users." Kageyama growled.

"There is no explanation to your sudden appearance on the road, security cameras cannot track where you'd come from, and you are telling no one where you came from or who you are. I believe that may be because you are ability users." She stared at them, her glare giving off murderous intention worse than Kageyama's.

"Your options are: come with me, the Armed Detective Agency and stay under our observation. Or stay here and wait for your execution." She gave a cheery smile.

Hinata shivered. Who wanted to execute them? What had they done?

"If it helps make up your mind, I'm the one that healed you." She gestured at Kageyama.

"You almost died. However, not an hour later your standing and functioning as normal, as if nothing happened. That is my ability."

Hinata felt his throat close up. He pushed away Kageyama's arm and stepped forward.

She'd saved Kageyama's life. Regardless of the threat of execution or this strange talk of abilities. She must be someone they could trust. For saving Kageyama's life, they were both in her debt.

Hinata breathed in, "We'll come with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those that don't watch Bungou Stray Dogs that's the world we're currently in. It's a great show, so if you haven't watched go check it out or read the manga!  
> I'll try introduce the characters so if you don't know them it hopefully won't detract from the story.


	6. Let me disappear- I won't let you

Kuroo had barely closed his eyes when he heard the quiet click of the window latch. Kenma had moved into the room right next to them; Kuroo had insisted he stay close by and the noise of his window opening wasn't quiet enough for Kuroo not to notice.

Kenma was up to something.

Slipping out of the room Kuroo made his was down the hall, cautiously pressing a hand to the door of Kenma's room. "Kenma?" He knocked. No answer. "I'm coming in." He pushed open the door.

The room was empty. "Kenma?" Kuroo's heart was beating fast. He couldn't have disappeared, not yet. "Oi!" He threw back the bed sheets, already knowing the setter wasn't under them.

He hadn't disappeared, and the door had never opened. The open window had a chair under it but Kuroo didn't want to believe it.

"Kenma!" He shouted out the window. A cold chill sent a shiver up his spine but Kuroo ignored it, throwing himself out the window.

Feet moving before his brain could process, Kuroo found himself sprinting into the forest.

\------

The dry leaf litter beneath his feet was scratchy and the odd jab from a sharp stone would bring his attention to his battered feet. It'd had been almost an hour and he'd heard nothing of Kenma.

His hands and face were stinging with cold and his voice was hoarse from screaming. He could barely hear over the sound of his heart racing. "Kenma!" Kuroo had lost control of his heart and with it he began to break. His breathing was in short panicked breaths, his head throbbing with pain and confusion, feet battered and bruised, tears staining his face.

He stopped and crouched down in the dirt, squeezing his knees to his chest. He'd never felt like this before. Never. It was awful.

Twisted hands reached inside him, pulling at his heart and burning it. The hands claw like fingers climbing up his throat causing Kuroo to choke.

He wanted to see Kenma, to hold him and kiss him and tell him they'd be okay. He wanted to be with the small blond boy forever; to hear his voice, see his golden eyes, feel his familiarity and warmth.

How could Kenma leave? Why did he leave? Would he even be able to find him?

"Come back." He cried. Crouched on the forest floor, shaking from cold and tears, he felt truly pathetic.

Kuroo couldn't even tell what emotion he was feeling anymore, his heart was moving far to fast and he couldn't breath. The anger, sadness, pain, desperation and longing all melded into one and all he felt was numb.

However, if he wanted to ever see Kenma again he had to keep moving.

He pulled himself up, not bothering to brush off the leaf litter that stuck to his uniform. Walking forward, step by step, listening, looking for any sign of the boy.

The moon was hidden by the thick canopy of trees, with every step light was fading. He could barely see now. The ground under his feet changed from sharp leaves to hard stones.

He continued going forwards, his feet moving one step after ano- he fell, feet sliding out from under him, the ground taking a sudden drop. Sharp hard stones bruised and punctured his skin as he landed sprawled on the hard ground.

He must have fallen about a meter. His ankle had rolled and as he pulled himself up he let out a whine. The hot sting of fresh blood crept along both his elbows and knees. This wasn't good. He turned around, finding the ledge which he'd just stepped off and as he did a pair of golden eyes flicked into the corner of his vision.

"Kenma!" Injuries forgotten he stumbled towards the boy. Kenma was sitting on the rocks not far from Kuroo's landing, he was silent, yet he didn't try to run away.

Kuroo flung his arms and legs around Kenma, pulling the boy onto his lap. "Kenma." Kuroo was crying again, the numbness of emotion slowing dissipating.

Kenma's shaking arms wrapped around Kuroo's chest. Kuroo pulled him closer and kissed him. His lips meeting with Kenma's own, pulling him into an embrace Kuroo hoped would never break.

He could taste the tears on Kenma's face, see the gold of his eyes swirl as he melted into Kuroo's embrace. Every piece of him fitting perfectly; as if they were the same person. His warmth, the softness of his lips, the feel of his hands through Kuroo's hair, the curl of his legs as they twisted together, and his eyes. Half closed and filled with tears, yet still a brilliant colour, their endless depths betraying every feeling he'd been trying to hold in.

Kuroo's heart was fluttering, he pressed his lips to Kenma's mouth once again, taking in every inch of Kenma's face. He was beautiful.

Kuroo promised himself he would never lose him again.

"Don't ever leave like that again." He pulled his head back so he could lock eyes with Kenma. "I thought I'd lost you. Why did you do it?" He spoke softly, straining to hear the whispered reply.

"I- I didn't want to hurt you." Kenma buried his face in Kuroo's shirt. "I thought if- if I disappeared now it wouldn't hurt as much but- but it just hurt more." Fresh tears fell onto Kuroo's chest. "Let me disappear, so you don't have to watch me fade like Shoyou and Tobio."

Kuroo squeezed Kenma, "I won't let you. I won't let you leave. If you disappear I want to spend every second I can with you until then."

"But it'll make you worry and you won't be able to play volleyball."

"Don't be stupid. You are far more important to me." Kuroo was sliding his fingers through Kenma's hair. "You'll be okay. We'll both be okay."

Kenma whined, closing his eyes and sliding his head perfectly into the crook of Kuroo's neck.

"I love you." Kuroo whispered the words into Kenma's ear, his lips brushing along the soft skin.

"I love you too." Kenma lifted his head slightly, his lips finding their way across Kuroo's cheek to his lips.

Kenma's eyes opened, the windows to his heart wide open; they were clouded with pain, yet as they kissed they cleared, the brightest glow of fiery gold warming Kuroo's own heart.

Kenma's face softened to Kuroo's touch and the boy nuzzled into Kuroo's neck. With the heat from each other's bodies to keep them warm and their heartbeats in sync, the two fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short one sorry, it's 3am and I'm supposed to be up early for study, so I haven't proof read.


	7. Idiots

The first morning light from the sun crept through the forest canopy. Dappled light dancing over Kuroo and Kenma as they began to wake.

Kuroo blinked his eyes open. His arms wrapped around Kenma's neck as he pulled the blond closer to kiss his face. He was still here. He hadn't disappeared. He hadn't tried to run again.

Kuroo had been worried that Kenma might have changed his mind about staying and ran off again once he was asleep. But the way their legs twisted together and Kenma's fingers gripped loosely onto Kuroo's shirt told him that Kenma had never really wanted to go.

Kenma's eyes opened in narrow slits, and he wiggled in Kuroo's grasp. "Morning." Kuroo pulled back from the boys face, giving him a little space to look around. The setter groaned in response and closed his eyes again.

Kuroo laughed, pulling their faces back together to kiss Kenma's lips. It didn't last long though, and he pulled back as Kenma's teeth bit onto his lip in protest.

"Kuroo. I haven't eaten properly for almost two days. I don't think I have the energy." Kuroo was fully awake now.  
"We should head back." Kuroo untangled himself from Kenma and stood up.

He winced as his weight pressed sore feet into the stones beneath him. He hadn't check for any injuries last night; he'd been too focused on Kenma. The small boy was wobbling on his legs as he stood beside Kuroo.

Trailing his eyes up and down the frail figure he noticed a lot more in the light. Kenma's feet were as raw and red as his own; both of them not having considered putting shoes on before leaving. Kenma's shorts left his legs exposed, the pale skin was dotted with small cuts and bruises. Kuroo's shirt was far to big for Kenma and as it hung over his thin frame Kuroo noticed the tremble that shook through his whole body. His golden eyes unfocused and glazed over.

Kuroo's own body didn't look too good either. He twisted his arms around, remembering the fall from last night. There were grazes over both his elbows and knees, dried blood from sharp cuts was smeared over him. His hands had scabbed over from where Kenma's nails had gripped into him the other night, it looked as if they'd form some nice scars. At least there were any sprains, only bruises and scrapes.

"Do you know how to get back?" Kenma asked, an obvious tremble in his voice.  
"I think." Kuroo wasn't exactly sure, but he'd find a way out and Kenma shouldn't have to worry about it.

They still stood at the bottom of the rocky ledge they'd fell down. The sudden drop was only a meter and so with aching feet and arms Kuroo pulled himself up.

The spiky leaf litter and soft dirt under his feet a welcome change to the hard gravel of the pit they'd been in.

He offered a hand back down to Kenma, using most of his strength to lift the boy out. Kenma's grip on him as he lifted was weak and as he placed him back on his own feet Kenma leaned into him, trying to steady his shaking legs.

"I'll carry you." Kuroo spun around, lifting the smaller boy onto his back before he could respond. Kenma didn't fight against being piggy backed, he curled his arms around Kuroo's neck to secure himself, his head falling forward to rest on Kuroo's shoulder.

The extra weight would make the trip back harder, but there was no way Kenma could walk this. He could feel Kenma shaking, his trembling breath brushing lightly over Kuroo's neck. Kenma's legs hung limply as they hooked through Kuroo's arms. Kuroo slouched himself forwards, so Kenma could lie on him without fear of falling backwards.

It was going to be a hard walk back. He'd stupidly left his phone behind and hadn't told anyone he'd gone. "Idiot." He mumbled to himself.

He couldn't remember how long it's taken to run out here last night, an hour or two, maybe more? It'd be safe to guess that the trip back might take a while longer.

\------

His feet ached but he kept walking. The trees seemed to thin out and he guessed it meant they were getting close to the edge of the forest.

The sun was warm, a cool breeze rustling leaves around him and bird song filled his ears. If he weren't sore, hungry or tired he might've enjoyed this.

Kenma had slept most of the morning, leaving Kuroo to walk in silence. He hadn't stopped shaking for a second and Kuroo could feel his weight pressing further into him as Kenma struggled to find the strength to help hold his own weight.

"There's someone." Kenma whispered, startling Kuroo. He was awake, and apparently listening. Kuroo stopped walking and looked around. There were other footsteps, in the trees up ahead, voices too, voices he recognised.

"Kuroo! Kenma!" The voices were louder.  
"Oi! Over here!" Footsteps crashed through the trees and Lev appeared before them, Yaku and Inouka not far behind.

"Kuroo where the hell have you been!?" Yaku's face was set in a scowl, "you too Kenma!? Your both idiots!" Kuroo sighed. "Save the scolding please."

He slid Kenma off his back to let him stand on the forest floor. He still had an arm around the boys waist, the shaking in Kenma's legs worse now he was trying to use them. "Someone please take Kenma."

The rest of their team appeared from varying directions around them. Having been alerted by Yaku's yelling that they'd been found.

"We've been searching for you two for hours." Yaku began lecturing as they all trudged back to the camp. "Take your phones, you idiots! What if you'd broken a leg!?" Kuroo zoned out.

Kenma was being carried back and Kuroo kinda hoped he could be too, the bottom of his feet were raw and bleeding, each step painful, but he couldn't look pathetic in front of the team. They weren't far now. He could hide the wince in each step.

 

\------

 

Hinata and Kageyama followed a few paces behind Yosano. They walked in silence along the busy streets of Yokohama, Yosano setting a fast stride that they had to keep up with.

Kageyama grabbed onto Hinata's hand, dragging him through the crowd, so he wouldn't get lost. Hinata's fingers slotted comfortably between his.

The small boys brown eyes sparkling with excitement as he grinned up at Kageyama. Kageyama felt his cheeks redden and turned back to watching the city.

It was lunch time and the city was buzzing with activity. More people walked along the streets than Kageyama could possibly count. Buildings towered around them, huge apartment buildings and office blocks with restaurants, shops and cafes dotting the spaces between them.

They came to an old brick office building, on the corner of a street. About three floors tall, it seemed dwarfed by some of the buildings around it. "This is it." Yosano stopped and pulled open a side door, ushering the two inside.

"Our office is on the second floor." She shut the door behind them and led the way down the darkened hall to an elevator. Kageyama still gripped Hinata's hand and he wasn't about to let go now the crowds had gone.

The elevator jerked to a stop, Hinata jumped and gripped Kageyama's hand tighter. The door opened onto a small entrance way and a door at the other end signified the entrance to the office of the armed detective agency. Loud voices could be heard, an annoyed yelling coming from behind the door.

Yosano opened the door, a scowl playing on her face.

"Would you leave Atsushi alone and do some bloody paperwork for once!" A tall blond man was leaning over his coworker. The brown haired male he was addressing was lying over the back of a chair, a childish pout on his face, his fingers tying plaits into the white hair of the younger boy that must've been Atsushi.

With the entrance of visitors however they stopped, turning to face Hinata and Kageyama.

The brown haired man was up in an instant, a wide grin spilled across his face, dark eyes sparkling as he offered a bandaged hand out for them to shake. "Hinata! Kageyama!" He enthusiastically shook their hands, Yosano rolling her eyes and disappearing off into a side door. "I am Dazai! This is Atsushi and Kunikida." He gestured to the younger boy, who gave a shy wave and the older blond, who simply scowled. "Welcome to the armed detective agency!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while to come out, and it's kinda short.
> 
> I'll try have more up soon! Thanks for reading!


	8. When did this start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters only short, I've got a lot going on right now and I'm kinda struggling to find time.
> 
> But don't worry, I'll make sure to get some more up soon to make up for it ^^

"I don't know if I want to do this." Hinata whispered into his knees. He drew his arms around his legs, squashing them closer into his chest.

He did say he would do it; but maybe he needed to think a little more next time before he agreed.

The armed detective agency didn't seem as concerned about their sudden appearance as he'd first thought. They were a little sceptical about Kageyama and his story but hadn't pressed them too much about the matter.

They were never in any real danger- regardless of what Yosano had said when they'd first met- it was simply to keep suspicious eyes and ears at bay.

The few days they'd spent here had been equally enjoyable and exhausting.

Hinata had been happy to share everything he knew about their portal tattoos and now Dazai was looking for a demonstration.

The brunette had been enthralled by their 'abilities' as everyone had called it. His face had lit up with a stupid grin, his dark eyes widening as he'd gripped tightly to Hinata's shoulders.

'You have to show me! Show me something I can't beat!' The squeal in his voice something more suited to a five year old than a twenty something year old man; however it'd reminded him of Natsu. And he couldn't say no.

If he was honest he didn't feel like using the tattoo anymore, he'd just been caught up in Dazai's infectious mood.

Hinata rolled his shoulders slightly, brushing off thoughts of the tattoo. Kageyama shifted in his sleep on the couch beside him. His dark hair sticking out in messy spikes, his face relaxed from its usual scowl; Hinata liked this Kageyama.

Not that he didn't like Kageyama when he was awake- he corrected himself. But the soft rhythm of his breathing, the way his pale lips parted ever so slightly, the wrinkles in his brow smoothed out, the way his fringe would fall over his face- Hinata's cheeks burned pink. It wasn't very often Kageyama looked this relaxed.

He was lying at the opposite end of the couch, his feet tucked up to meet with Hinata's at the other end. Hinata reached out, fingers gently brushing away the soft black hair that fell on Kageyama's face.

Kageyama's breath tickled the palm of Hinata's hand, the warmth pulling his fingers back down to trace along the edge of his lips.

Kageyama hummed, stirring slightly at the gentle touch to roll himself closer to the edge of the couch.

Hinata grinned, lowering himself down to lie in the gap Kageyama created for him.

He pressed his cheek into the cool leather of the arm of the couch, his face millimetres from Kageyama's. Their legs twisted themselves together, Kageyama's arms wrapping around Hinata's waist.

It was weird how natural it felt; wrapped in Kageyama's arms. He was still new to this, this whole relationship thing.

He couldn't remember when it started- it'd always been there he guessed- it just grew and quickly. They spent ages before this trying to figure each other out; trying to figure out what it was they really felt.

He still wasn't too sure what he felt- what he would call this relationship.

It'd been during their first experience with these portal-tattoo things, they'd been alone, yet together. Going through something they couldn't explain, couldn't control; it was fear that'd brought them together.

When the pain became too much, when they disappeared, when they missed home, they would both be there- together.

It'd been comforting at first, just having someone else to sleep with; to fight off each other's nightmares.

They would find themselves moving closer as they slept, their hands reaching out, needing to feel each other's touch. At first it seemed awkward and they only did it occasionally, on those nights when their tattoos burned and they feared they'd disappear.

However they had both felt drawn to each other. They gave up on excuses as to why they'd wake up and find themselves in the other's bed.

It'd become a familiar comfort and now they both couldn't sleep without each other.

Recently things had progressed from there. They'd catch themselves staring at each other, hands brushing together whenever they got close, touches lingering longer than they should.

When Kageyama had been hit by that car Hinata thought he'd lose him.

It was that moment he decided he wouldn't lose Kageyama. He'd make the most of every precious second they were together.

He wiggled closer in Kageyama's arms, bringing their chests together, their breath travelling in soft whispers over each other's faces.

Hinata couldn't resist reaching up to touch Kageyama's face again, his fingers dancing lightly over his lips.

The dark haired boy gave appreciative hums in his sleep, enjoying the closeness of their bodies.

Hinata's hands never left Kageyama's face that night; he would memorise the feel of every inch of his perfect face.


	9. I just want to go home

The flow of traffic around Kageyama blurred, the loud grumble of engines pierced by the frantic screech of a single horn.

He felt Hinata's weight tucked beneath arm, saw the bright orange of his hair ruffled by the wind, his brown eyes wide with fear.

He struggled to move, his arms locked up and his knees buckled. The bright headlights were almost upon them.

Hinata slid from his grip and Kageyama found himself shoved back- away from the car.

His face dropped, the car smashed into Hinata.

He screamed, the noises from his throat barely recognisable as human as he cried and pleaded.

The smaller boys body was crumpled in his arms.

Those brown eyes that he had always watched swirl with excitement were lifeless. There was blood- too much blood- everywhere.

His vision flashed and jumped about. His ears filled with nothing but Hinata's last raspy breaths. "-ama?"

Kageyama was still screaming, his hands came up to his face, trying to hide the view, trying to block out the noise, trying to ignore the blood.

"-eyama! Kageyama! It's okay-" a heavy weight pressed into his chest and hands took hold of his own. "It's okay. I'm here. Your here-" familiar fingers slid over his own, he gripped them back tightly.

"It's okay. Your okay." Hinata's voice whispered to him and his hands were pulled away from his face.

The dim light of morning filled his view as he felt himself sink back into the couch, back into their apartment. However, he couldn't stop the heaving sobs that tore through his shaking body.

Blood still smeared over his eyes, the haunting sounds of screams filling his mind.

Hinata's brown eyes looked down at him, still red with sleep. "It was just a nightmare." The orange haired boy whispered, his weight pressing further into Kageyama's chest as he sunk down to press his face into the crook of his neck. "It's over. Your alright." Hinata kept talking, his fingers rubbing reassuring circles over the back of his hands.

They lay in silence for a few minutes. His breathing returned to normal and he tried to calm the shaking.

"Hinata?" He gave a pitiful whine. He hated being weak, losing control of his mind as he slept.

It was the same most nights now, since the car accident. Everytime he failed. Everytime he lost Hinata and it was his fault- because he couldn't move, because he was too weak to protect him, to help him.

Every night he watched Hinata die- sometimes multiple times- before he'd wake in a mess.

He hated it. He should be stronger. This shouldn't be happening.

"I'm here." Hinata lifted his head, giving a soft reply. His eyes locked with Kageyama's and his hands came up to hold Kageyama's face.

Small fingers held him still, the small amount of warmth they gave off as Hinata wiped away tears was grounding- they weren't cold or lifeless. They traced under his eyes, rubbing at the dark rings he had from not enough sleep.

Each stroke wiped away the blood from his vision, cleared away the traffic, the screams, the car horn, the dying breaths- all wiped away.

"Okay now?" Hinata asked, his hands running back through Kageyama's hair in a way that made him lean closer to the boy.

"Yea." He exhaled, blowing an orange lock of hair off Hinata's face before it settled straight back down. He brought his own hands up, the shaking still evident but controllable, and brushed the bright orange lock of hair back behind Hinata's ear.

Hinata's face relaxed into a smile and he pressed his face back into the crook of Kageyama's neck.

His soft hair tickled under Kageyama's chin and he could pick out the faint smell of apple soap through the sweat. Such a childish fragrance, but that's what made Hinata smell like- well Hinata.

Kageyama brushed his fingers through the soft fiery coloured tangles. Hinata melted into him, his eyes closing and despite the growing light in the room around them, Hinata fell asleep.

Kageyama didn't let him sleep long. They were expected at the detective agency soon.

He rolled Hinata off his chest and blearily rubbed sleep from his eyes.

The detective agency had a small apartment block, each apartment was owned by a member of the agency and they'd lent a free apartment to Hinata and Kageyama to share.

It was nice, almost like having their own house 'like we're adults!' Hinata had been excited about the responsibility.

The apartment had one bedroom, an open plan living, dining and kitchen area and a bathroom. The bedroom had a queen sized bed but most of the time they'd stumble through the door and collapse onto the large leather couch in the living area.

Kageyama pulled himself up from the couch, crossing the wooden floor to the kitchen counter. Pulling open the fridge he grabbed out two drinks and tossed one back to Hinata still sitting on the couch.

"We're supposed to be at the agency at nine," Kageyama looked up at the wall clock above the kitchen bench, "that gives us half an hour."

He twisted open the cap of the plastic drink bottle in his hands, gulping it down in seconds. It was a breakfast drink of some sort; a sludgy milk with a bitter aftertaste. He didn't recognise it as something he'd had before, but he guessed that being in a different world they wouldn't have the same brands or products he was used to. The agency seemed to have them stocked in everyone's rooms; apparently no one had time to make proper breakfasts.

Hinata was struggling to wrestle the cap off his, Kageyama hesitantly stepped towards him to help. Hinata glared and continued to twist at the cap. "I can do it by myself Kageyama." The obvious annoyance in his tone as the small boy brushed off Kageyama's offer of help. "Fine." Kageyama grunted. "I'm in the bathroom." He walked behind the couch taking the door straight ahead to the bathroom.

The bathroom lit up with bright white as he flicked on the lights. It's clean white tiles covering the room from floor to ceiling. There was a bathtub at the end of the room, a toilet to his left and a sink and mirror on his right.

It was simple and clean. The bright white of everything left space for the owner to add their own personal touches of colour to the room. But they never planned on staying long, so it stayed reasonably empty of their possessions.

They'd borrowed a few dull grey towels from Atsushi. The white haired boy owned the apartment next to theirs- he shared it with a young black haired girl, Kyouka, who seemed only a year or two younger than himself and Hinata.

He pulled one of the towels out of the shelf under the sink, letting the soft fluff fall under his feet as he dropped it on the floor nearer the bath.

The bath had a shower head so he could stand in the tub, letting the cool water flow over him. He preferred cold showers, the water sending shivers over his skin, waking him up and helping him forget how tired he really was.

It didn't take the two long to be showered, dressed and out the door.

Kageyama stood on the balcony, fiddling with the doors lock as Atsushi came out of his door a few meters away. "Hey Kageyama, Hinata." He gave a cheery greeting. Kyouka slid out the door behind Atsushi, dressed in a red and yellow kimono she raised a hand in an awkward wave.

Hinata returned the greeting and wave with a smile, Kageyama simply grunted, sliding the apartments key into his pocket.

They walked down the street together and headed into the old brick building of the agency.

Dazai was lying over the old couches in the reception, the same book he was always reading lying over his face. "Don't wake him-" Kunikida appeared in front of them, the blond man had his hair pulled back in a ponytail, his glasses sitting a little lopsided over his nose. "It's the only time he's not a pain in the ass when he's asleep." Atsushi and Kyouka both nodded in agreement to that and headed past Kunikida to their desks.

"So-" Kunikida turned to look Hinata in the eye, "I heard from Dazai that you'd be willing to show your ability. I have a busy schedule today, so I should go. However, Yosano wanted to check up on you two. She's downstairs in the cafe." He strode off towards the exit.

Kageyama looked down at Hinata, who was shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He grabbed tightly to Hinata's arm, pulling him out of the room and down the hallway.

Hinata squawked in protest but Kageyama tightened his grip, pulling him into an empty bathroom and locking the door, before he let go.

"When did you agree to use the portal?!" Kageyama yelled. "Why didn't you tell me about this?!" He was probably being a bit harsh, Hinata was flinching away from him, but did he really not remember their last portal jump!?

"Remember last time? We almost died?!" A car horn pierced his mind and he strangled out a strange noise, trying to push away memories.

He was fuming, "it hasn't even been two weeks since last time. And already your gonna use it again?!"

Hinata wouldn't make eye contact with him. "And your using it to show off, play around? What happened to getting home!?"

It cost a lot of energy to use the tattoos, did he really want to waste that on showing off to the agency rather than getting home?

"Have you even left enough time for it to regenerate since our last jump?!" The regeneration time between each jump varied, but with a new tattoo to a new world it would take longer, till it was usable again to get them home.

"I can't use mine Hinata! If you waste yours on tricks, we can't get-" Hinata suddenly reached out, having avoided making any eye contact with Kageyama this whole time, he stepped forward and gripped both of Kageyama's shaking arms. "-home." Kageyama's voice cracked.

He looked down at Hinata, their eyes finally locking together.

Tears streamed down Hinata's face, his brown eyes red and puffy, yet still held in a frown. "That's- that's not wh- what I was going to do." Hinata stuttered.

Kageyama didn't flinch away as Hinata's nails dug into his arms; he hadn't realised the smaller boy was crying. "I only mentioned it to Dazai yesterday. I was going to tell you last night- but you fell asleep."

"So why didn't you ask me before deciding." Kageyama ground his teeth together; he still couldn't shake the anger from his voice. "It's not just you this portals going to effect Hinata."

His voice raised in shaky panic, "It scares me. It scares me that you could get hurt- that I might lose you. Not one night has been since coming here that I have slept without being plagued by nightmares of losing you."

He was shaking, voice cracking as he lost control of what he was saying. "I don't want to spend any more time here than needed. Every time I look at the traffic outside, I can feel myself crumbling into the road. I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes I lose sight of you. And as stupid as it sounds I can't shake the view of your eyes becoming lifeless. Or your perfect hands becoming cold. Your beautiful hair stained with blood. I don't want to be here! I don't want to stay in this place where I can't protect you. I never want to lose you, and I just want to hold you and kiss you. I'm scared and I can't sleep, and it makes me feel like shit. I just want to go home."

He took a few heaving breaths then realised what he said.

Kageyama's face burned red. Hinata's grip on him had loosened as the orange haired boy stared at the ground, his face blank.

Kageyama broke free of Hinata's hands, pushing him away. He swiftly opened the door of the bathroom and ran.

He couldn't look at Hinata, he had to get out of there. He ran out of the building and down the shadowy alleyway behind it. Finally stopping to crouch, hidden behind some old wooden crates.

Shit, shit, shit! Did he really just say that!? Stupid. Stupid!

He groaned, curling his knees up to tuck under his chin.

He'd accidentally just told Hinata he wanted to kiss him.

Not that that wasn't true; he'd just become aware of these feeling for the energetic boy recently. But did he really just confess his feelings like that? He'd just made him cry by yelling at him, then he just admits he wanted to kiss him.

There was no way Hinata would feel the same way; especially after what he just did. He was such an idiot. He closed his eyes and tried to force away the anger and embarrassment that reddened his cheeks.

Hinata was going to hate him.


	10. The moments before it all changes

Hinata is still standing in stupor in the bathrooms. Kageyama fled minutes ago, yet his shaking hands still reach out as if he could pull him back.

There's too much to process; the words that Kageyama said, the emotions welling up inside him, the way his head hurts and his heart is pounding. He can't even begin to comprehend the situation and he just shuts down.

"-nata?" A firm hand shakes his shoulder and Hinata's senses return. "Hinata?" He's sitting on the couches in the agency's office, Atsushi's shaking him, calling out to him.

How did he get back here? He was still standing in the bathrooms before, with Kageyama.

"Kageyama!" He jolts up remembering that the raven haired boy had ran off.

Atsushi jumps back a little in fright before confusion sets back on his face and he meets Hinata's eyes. "Kageyama's not here?" The older boy calmly speaks. "I heard a commotion out in the bathrooms and you were out there on your own."

Hinata watches Atsushi noting how the strange mix of purple and yellow colours in his eyes darkened. "Did something happen?"

Hinata breaks eye contact. "Where's Kageyama?" He asks trying to cover the crack in his voice, not wanting to admit anything. "I don't know." Atsushi admits stepping back as Dazai comes over.

He should have gone after Kageyama sooner.

He's about to stand when Dazai's hands clap onto both his shoulders, pushing him back into the couch.

"I have to find Kageyama." Hinata mumbles, trying to stand back up but Dazai's hands stay firm and he has to lift his eyes to look at the tall man. His eyes are obscured by the dark brown curls of his hair, that fall around his face.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Dazai comments, laughing at Hinata's attempt to brush him away.

"Why would you know?" Hinata scowls, finally realising that Dazai's not letting him go anywhere and sinks back into the couch.

The hands on him release and both Dazai and Atsushi take seats on the couch opposite Hinata.

"Hinata, this is a detective agency. If I couldn't deduce what has happened between you and Kageyama I'd be in the wrong job." The man grins and flicks his hair back from his face. Atsushi gives an encouraging smile as if he also knew.

Hinata looks away, taking instead to analysing the loose threads on his own shorts.

Was it really that easy to read? He pulled at the frayed edge of black cotton stitching. Did Kageyama really mean it though? And what did he even feel himself? Did he really want to kiss him? What would it feel like?

Hinata could feel the heat in his cheeks and flushed away the thought- Dazai's grin was growing.

Kissing wasn't the important part of that conversation- he corrected himself. It wasn't really a conversation either, just Kageyama yelling. And aside from the kissing, and the fact he'd called his hair beautiful or his hands perfect- no not thinking about it.

Hinata squeezed his hands into fists. Kageyama had been upset- he was scared and Hinata had let him feel like that.

He knew Kageyama couldn't sleep, he knew he had nightmares, and although the raven haired boy never wanted to talk about them, Hinata knew it was about him. And still he hadn't done anything to help.

He'd been to caught up in his world to think about Kageyama's.

He had to fix this. He had to apologise. He didn't know what he'd say or do but finding Kageyama was the first step.

He stood, fists clenched at his sides. "You know where Kageyama is don't you?" He nodded at Dazai. The man responded with an even wider grin than before. "Of course."

"Where is he?" Hinata asked again.  
"He'll have just finished talking to Yosano in the cafe." Hinata's face fell as he remembered they were supposed to meet. "Don't worry-" Dazai waved a hand, "he'll be heading back to your apartment now."

Hinata quickly thanked him and began to walk off.

"Ah, the joy of being in love!" He could hear Dazai giggling behind him but the noise was promptly cut of with a loud slap. Thank you Atsushi- he hurried off before Dazai could start teasing him.

It seemed to take forever and yet no time at all before Hinata found himself running along the balcony to their apartments door.

He paused to catch his breath, hands shaking as he reached to open the door.

He wasn't ready. But he had to do this.

He swallowed and pushed the unlocked door open. His eyes quickly fell on the pair of shoes roughly discarded in the entranceway.

Kageyama was definitely here.

 

\------

 

Kenma had finally settled back in with the team. The first day or two after his and Kuroo's midnight excursion had been awkward and emotionally draining.

As painful as the first escape had been Kenma hadn't been able to shake the feeling it was the right thing to do.

He could see the way Kuroo hovered around him, he wasn't practising volleyball as much with the team and he could see that Kuroo wasn't sleeping.

This mark could take another week or so before it was fully tattooed into him. He couldn't watch Kuroo like this for another week.

So he tried again.

After another failed attempt at disappearing- this time actually making it onto public transport and into the next city- before he was hunted down by fuming Kuroo and Yaku; Kuroo forced him into telling the team about the mark and he begrudgingly had.

Now they all took their turns at watching him. It'd been an agreement amongst the team that someone would be with him at all times.

He hated it, but got no choice in the matter.

The mark itself had now grown darker in colour to match the charcoal grey of a pencil lead. The pain has dulled to a throb and he could mostly ignore it. Although he still wore Kuroo's shirts; they brought more comfort than just relieving the pain to his back.

Karasuno hadn't played a single game since Kageyama and Hinata's disappearance and no news had been heard of the missing first year duo.

Nine days had passed and Kenma's mark was now a dark inky black. The huge tattooed claw mark burned into his skin, the pain grew again, and he knew he was going to disappear.

Nekoma ceased playing volleyball ten days after the first disappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for another short chapter.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that's been reading, commenting, leaving kudos!


	11. Go- talk to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! Took me forever to update- just been really busy lately. Life's about to calm down soon, so hopefully I'll get more up very very soon to make up for my lateness ^~^

Kageyama clenched his hands into fists, bringing them up closer to his face so he could see his nails pressing into the soft skin of his palms.

The early morning sun hadn't yet reached into the alleyway behind the agency, and the precarious pile of old crates blocked any light that dared to reach down. The usual bustle of traffic was a distant muffled echo. A bitter wind blew around the boy, tossing his dark hair over his tear stained face. Kageyama buried his face in his knees, pulling them close to his chest. 

Why was he so pathetic? He shouldn't have said what he did. He felt awful and yet he didn't have the decency to face what he'd done. He'd turned and ran. Now here he was- crouched, in the dirt of a dark alleyway, crying. How pathetic.

He pried his shaking fists open and traced a finger over the small red half-moons indented along his palms from his nails. It was painful and his hands trembled- from the pain, cold, frustration- he didn't know why. All Kageyama knew was that he wanted someone to hold them. No- needed someone to hold his hands.

He'd always fought through everything alone. He'd hidden his emotions behind thick barbed wired walls. That was until he met Hinata Shouyou.

He couldn't describe the feeling he got whenever the smaller boy looked at him. The way his heart would beat faster and he'd loose his breath, watching the way the fiery haired boy moved around the volleyball court.

Their first experience with their tattoos had brought them both closer. Hinata had cracked holes in those prison-like walls he'd built. Hinata helped him keep his emotions stable; more than he even knew. He didn't want to lose him. Didn't want to lose the relationship they had.

He wanted to pretend this never happened; to go home and fall asleep next to each other. He wanted to hear Hinata's heartbeat, feel the heat of his breath. He needed him to hold his hand; intertwine their fingers, calm the shaking, show him that they were both still here, still safe, still alive. He needed to hear his voice, hear him say it was all right. He needed to hear Hinata whisper his name, feel the softness of his lips as they dance over his skin. He needed to know what he tasted like, what he felt like. He wanted to twist his fingers through the beautiful orange locks of his wild hair, pull his adorable face to him and kiss him. He'd stare deep into the soft brown of his eyes as he kissed him, he wanted to know what his lips would taste like, how his name would sound whispered breathlessly into his ear. He didn't know what these feelings were but he wanted to touch him, taste him, see him. But he couldn't.

He couldn't ruin what relationship they had. He didn't want to make it awkward and ruin it. But it was too late for that.

He lent back against the cold brick of the buildings outer wall, it sucked out any remaining heat in his body and left him shivering in the wind.

How long had he been out here? The tear streaks on his face had dried and although his eyes probably still looked puffy he needed to get inside and warm up.

He placed a hand tentatively on the cold ground and pushed himself up with a groan. He shivered and pushed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, ignoring the cry from his heart that wanted someone to hold them.

Taking a quick glance down both ends of the alleyway he shuffled back out into the street and made his way into the front doors of the old brick buildings cafe.

Yosano's head lifted up from the furthest booth and Kageyama sheepishly made his way over only just remembering that she was waiting for him and Hinata.

Hinata wasn't there and he felt both thankful and disappointed at that.

He took a seat opposite Yosano, giving the woman a mumbled greeting and apology. She seemed to take little notice of his lateness though and didn't question why Hinata wasn't with him.

Yosano cleared her throat and cast a sideways frown at Kageyama. "Well- I'm not really one to give advice about... about this," she gestured vaguely at Kageyama then squeezed a hand firmly on his shoulder. The younger boy flinched a little under the touch, but he realised that his eyes were probably still red. He mentally slapped himself for thinking she wouldn't notice. Yosano pulled back noticing the boys discomfort. "I'm not gonna ask what happened- but you look like shit,"  
"I feel like shit," Kageyama mumbled in response.  
"My only advice- go talk to him," she gave a warm genuine smile before quickly returning to her usual indifferent expression. Kageyama turned away from her trying to hide the heat in his face; how did everyone know it had to do with Hinata?

Yosano turns to her side and calls out to the waitress behind the counter, "we'll have two hot chocolates- with all the extras." The waitress nods and begins to pull out jars of marshmallows, chopped nuts and rainbow sprinkles from the shelf behind her.

Their drinks arrive relatively quickly and despite the fact that it looks like unicorn vomit, Kageyama savours the sweetness and warmth as he swallows down chocolate and melting cream.

"Okay- now I want to hear everything you know about your ability," Kageyama finishes his drink and a second one is shoved towards him. He hesitantly takes it; a sugar high would probably help him forget how bad he felt.

Yosano expectantly clicks her tongue. "Well-" Kageyama starts, "it's not an ability." He'd never been the best at words, especially when he was feeling worked up, the argument with Hinata kept playing over and over in his head but he managed to keep talking. Yosano nodded along, occasionally jotting something into the notebook before her.

He talked about how he and Hinata had both discovered their first tattoos a few months ago. They burned into the skin before becoming a black ink, at this stage they seemed to forge a connection with another world.

After a tattoo appears it forces you to another world. Usually you can go through the portal by pressing the tattoo with a finger. It'll hurt a bit but it'll take you to the world of the tattoo you touch. Where you land in the world is mostly random. If you know the world you can try aim for a place to land; that involves a lot of thinking though.

If you don't chose to use the portal it'll force you through eventually. Each portal only does it once; almost like its testing to see its connection works. Once you've been through it once it only activates when you touch it, not on its own.

Each use uses a lot of energy and it takes a while to build that back up. Their are lots of circumstances that change how much energy a portal jump uses. The first use, especially if forced by the tattoo costs a lot more energy than usual. A normal jump takes maybe a day to recover from, first uses about half a week. Each person has different energy levels though and other factors like your health and fitness, what else you bring through the portal with you and even your mental state can change how long it takes to restore your energy.

The tattoos were almost like their own beings at times, they're a little unstable, they flare up occasionally and it takes a lot to control them. When they're new they're almost contagious, they'll jump to other people your in contact with and often if one person has a developing tattoo anyone around them has a chance of catching one. They're like a disease no one knows about.

Kageyama stopped talking for a minute to think.

That day- when they disappeared- they were in a gym full of people. Both his and Hinata's tattoos were flaring up, probably at their most contagious. Crap- he hoped no one had touched either of them; physical contact almost guaranteed they'd get a tattoo at that stage.

He brushed it off and continued talking. Yosano had stayed silent the whole time.

"When you go through a portal anything you touch goes with you. Objects, people, animals. If another person goes through the portal using someone else's tattoo it's guaranteed they'll develop one."  
"So that means that if Dazai touches you as you use the portal, if its an ability it'll do nothing, if it's some sort of other worldly magic Dazai will get a portal tattoo?" Yosano frowns even more as she looks up from her notes.  
"Yeah," Kageyama agreed. "It'll be a portal to whichever world Hinata takes you but I don't know where it'll appear cause he doesn't have any already."  
"What do you mean?"  
"The tattoos can appear anywhere. Completely random. They tend to cluster together though, so if he already had one it'd be near it. And because he doesn't have one it could end up anywhere. Arms, legs, back, face..." He gave up listing but got the point across.  
"Ah... I'm sure he won't care," Yosano shrugs. "The idiots covered head to toe in bandages anyway." Kageyama frowns, did Hinata really want to play around with the portals just to show off? How was he supposed to get home now.

They'd been here a week, Hinata had recover enough energy to get them through his portal home. Kageyama's own energy wasn't yet ready to use the portal again; the car accident had really taken out a lot on him and Yosano's healing ability had only helped his physical wounds not his mental, emotional and whatever this magical thing was.

"Kageyama..." The dark haired boy drew his attention back to Yosano, "Hinata wanted to get home as quickly as possible and I know you do too." Kageyama stares at her confused. "No he didn't? He wanted to show off his tattoos?" He questions. The woman shakes her head, her short hair falling over her face. "He was going to use his first portal to get both of you home, and he said he'd take Dazai with him." Kageyama groans.

That such an obvious option. Why did he straight away assume Hinata would take them to a different world? Ugh! He was such an idiot sometimes. He'd just been yelling at the terrified boy about wasting energy on portals to other worlds when really he was going home all along! Now he'd have to apologise even more!

He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands, "I'm such an idiot." He groaned. "I'll never be able to talk to him again." Yosano gave him a raised eyebrow. "Go back to your apartment boy," she nodded towards the door behind her and began shooing Kageyama away. "Go. Talk to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was awkward to write, and I'm really sorry for its terrible quality.  
> Next chapter things will actually happen! \\(^o^)/


	12. Sometimes mistakes work out better

Hinata quietly slid his shoes off. He took a second to stand in the entranceway, a hand tentatively leaning on the wall beside him. His eye fluttered shut and his free hand clutched at the fabric of his shirt, feeling the thunderous beating of his heart.

Calm breaths. Calm breaths. He repeated over and over in his head, willing his heart to calm down.

It's just Kageyama; why was he so nervous?

He blinked brown eyes open and slowly relaxed both arms at his side. The pulse of his heart drumming in his ears fades as Hinata focuses his hearing on finding Kageyama.

A door slams, followed by the bang of kitchen cupboards and the clatter of pots and glass. Hinata tilted his head slightly, what was Kageyama doing in the kitchen? He shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

Ok, let's do this. His face set into a determined grin and he forced his stiff limbs to walk forward.

"Kageyama!" Hinata burst around the corner into the kitchen, his shout catching the darker haired male by surprise. Kageyama leapt backwards, his face tightening its usual scowl.

They stand for a minute staring intently at each other, Hinata jumping from foot to foot under Kageyama's glare.

The taller boy raises a hand, causing Hinata to squeak as he jumps back, but his hand simply reaches up to his own face, rubbing at the dark circles under his eyes. Hinata watches the movement, forgetting why he was here in the first place.

Kageyama coughs his lips parting slightly as he goes to speak. Hinata instead steps forward, bowing his head as he speaks. "I'm sorry Kageyama. I should have asked you first, about using the portal so soon and I should-" he paused in his mumbled apology to catch his breath, "I should have told you I planned on letting Dazai return home with us. I didn't mean to worry you- sorry."

It was a lame sort of apology. It didn't even scrape the surface of the emotions he was currently trying to control bubbling within him. Even Natsu could have done a better job at that apology; he can hear his mother telling him to try again, to try something more sincere. Instead he simply lifts his head, his eyes fixing on Kageyama's face.

The other boy still seemed angry, his face was screwed up in a scowl but he responded with a soft voice, contradicting the look he was giving. "Thanks Hinata. I'm- um I'm sorry too." His face twisted and Hinata could feel laughter rising in his throat.

"Kageyama your face looks too scary." He giggled and Kageyama's face softened a little to his usual scowl.

"I was thinking you dummy!" He shakes Hinata, gently gripping him by the shoulders and waiting for the boy to stop giggling before continuing. "I'm not- not very good at words. I shouldn't have yelled at you and what I said back there- it wasn't the right time or place but I guess you know now." His grip tightens on Hinata's shoulders and he sighs as he tries to find the right words. "Look- I'm sorry Shouyou." The fiery haired boy tenses in his grip and Kageyama realises his mistake. "Uh- I'm sorry! I- I didn't mean it! It was-"

"No-" the smaller boys words cut Kageyama's flustered apology short. "It's- it's okay Tobio." The name rolls effortlessly off his tongue and this time it's his turn to tense up at the name. Hearing the other boy speak his name sends shivers along his body. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and heat flushes to his face.

"Shouyou." He breathlessly rolls the name off his tongue.

"Tobio?" The smaller boys response and joyful grin reaching straight into his chest and setting his heart racing.

"Is- is this okay?"

"It's good."

"That's good." They both nod. Their eyes meet and the glow of Shouyou's brown eyes is ecstatic. There's a bright red heat over his cheeks and the dark haired boy reckons his face probably looks the same.

"You good?"

"Yea. Good." Tobio affirms running a hand back through his dark hair. He notices Shouyou's eyes following the movement and feels his heart skip as the smaller boy bites his lip. "Shouyou-" Tobio draws the others attention back his face by bending down a little, so their eyes are level, but he can tell the fiery haired boy is concentrating on something else, "are you good? Cause I was thinking we cou-" Shouyou's soft lips meet his own and Tobio's heart stops.

His eyes widened briefly by surprise now fall closed as he leans into the kiss. Arms hang awkwardly at his sides and he's unsure of what to do. Shouyou tugs at his bottom lip then pulls back.

Tobio releases an unsteady breath and opens his eyes. Shouyou hastily turns away, his hands burying his reddened face. "I- I'm sorry." He stutters and steps back a little.

Tobio catches his arm, spinning him round and pulling the boy back towards him. "Don't be."

He presses their lips together again, this time with more certainty as he wraps one arm around Shouyou's waist, the other hand reaching up to caress the smaller boy's face as he tilts it gently upwards.

Shouyou's arms wrap around Tobio's chest and he feels the boy sink into him, leaning further into the kiss.

His heart is racing and Tobio can feel it trying to leap out of his chest. He gently bites onto Shouyou's lip, licking at the edges of his mouth. The boy moans in response and Tobio pulls back feeling his legs giving way beneath him as he dies in pure elation at having been the cause of that wonderful noise.

Shouyou catches his breath then leans back in, pressing soft kisses to Tobio's lips as the taller boy tries to lower them both onto the nearby couch.

Teeth and noses bang together and through the giggling and breathlessness they find themselves sitting on the leather of the couch, Shouyou pulled into Tobio's lap, his legs folded around Tobio's middle and arms wrapped around his neck.

Tobio reached up, cupping the other boys face and tracing a thumb along under his heavy lidded brown eyes. He placed one last feather light kiss on Shouyou's forehead then leant back to catch his breath, allowing the boy to sink into his chest.

He let his hands travel along Shouyou's back, feeling the ridge of his spine and drawing patterns. Shouyou's fingers in turn wandered over his chest- Tobio thanked no one in particular for the fact he was wearing a shirt. His breath faltered and his heart raced, with every touch from Shouyou, the boy was going to kill him with these delicate touches.

"Tobio-" Shouyou mumbled, rubbing his face into the taller boy's shirt, "you smell really sweet. Like chocolate and caramel."

Tobio laughed quietly, "yeah, Yosano made me have one of those overly sweet topped hot chocolates before." Shouyou's head jolts up and he sticks out his bottom lip in a pout.

"Why didn't I get one?" Tobio laughs again, shaking his head.

"I was gonna make us a drink." He nudges Shouyou off him and walks to the kitchen bench.

Shouyou follows him and his brown eyes widen as he takes in the pot and mugs already laid out on the bench. "That's what you were doing when I came back! Proper hot chocolates!"

Like a kid in a candy store, the smaller boy's excitement is infectious and Tobio can't help but grin. "Yea, proper hot chocolates." He breaks an entire block of chocolate into the pot, melting it over the stove.

They both stand, watching the contents of the pot swirl and melt. They add a pinch of chilli powder then fill their mugs.

Shouyou gently cups his mug between both his hands, he blows over its steaming surface, watching the ripple of the chocolaty skin forming over it.

Tobio sits back down on the couch, Shouyou sits next to him so that their knees and hips are touching. He leans into Tobio's side, bringing his mug up to his lips carefully. He takes a large gulp, feeling the thick overly sweet chocolate slide down his throat followed by the sharp spice of the chilli. He licks away the chocolaty moustache over his lips.

"Did you want to go out and get meat buns for dinner? I'll pay." Tobio swirls the contents of his mug as he waits for it to cool.

"Meat buns!" Shouyou cheers, his mug dangerously close to slopping over as he raises it in celebration. Tobio jostles Shouyou's wild hair with his free hand, his heart fluttering at the giggle the smaller boy makes.

Actually it wasn't a bad mistake to tell Shouyou how he felt.


	13. The best part about fairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm getting so bad at this. It's soooo late 0.o
> 
> (Late) Merry Christmas!  
> And  
> Happy New Year!

"Why didn't you set an alarm!?" Shouyou squawks as he runs around the apartment, hastily pulling on clean clothes and trying to flatten his wild bed hair.

"I didn't think we'd need it." Tobio sighs and sinks further back into the couch. He's been awake and dressed for a while now, Shouyou was just taking forever to get ready.

"We did! Look how late it is!"

"It's only quarter past ten? It's not like we're supposed to be anywhere." After the events of yesterday they'd been given a day off before portal jumping home tomorrow.

"Tobio~" Shouyou whines, "I wanted to do something fun today, before we leave."

"Like what? They don't have a volleyball court round here?"

"Volleyball isn't the only fun thing you can do!" Shouyou runs into the living area and begins pacing round the room, looking at the floor. "I can't find my shoes!?"

"They're under the bed." Tobio groans, "why do you have to lose everything?"

"I didn't lose them," the smaller boy hops back in from the bedroom, as he pulls on his shoes.

"Okay, ready to go?" Tobio pulls himself up from the couch.

"No! I haven't had breakfast!"

The taller boy groans and grabs a breakfast drink from the fridge. "Here," he shoves it in Shouyou's hands and heads towards the door.

"Thanks," Shouyou mumbles a response. Holding the drink between his teeth, he grabs a thin jacket from where it's hanging up near the door and ties it around his waist. Tobio uses the opportunity to tousle Shouyou's orange hair. The soft locks stick out all over the place as he undos Shouyou's attempt at taming it. The fiery haired boy's hand reaches up, pulling Tobio's hand from his head and bringing it back down to their sides. Their fingers twist together and Shouyou squeezes his hand, "It'll be fun, I promise."

They leave the apartment and begin walking down the streets towards the waterfront. With only one hand available and neither willing to pull their hands apart, Shouyou has to combine efforts with Tobio in order to get his drink open. After a few attempts at twisting the cap the wrong way they finally have it open and Shouyou quickly finishes the small breakfast drink, chucking the bottle in the next trash can they pass.

"So where are we going?" The dark haired boy finally asks.

Shouyou hums and swings their joined hands, "There's a fair, down on the waterfront."

"Oh-" Tobio frowns, "I haven't been to a fair before."

"What?!" The smaller boy stops walking to stare at the raven-haired boy in disbelief. "Why not?"

Tobio shrugs, "They never really appealed, and I was always practising volleyball."

"Well-" Shouyou started walking again, pulling Tobio along with him, "I am going to make this the best fair ever."

It didn't take long for them to reach Yokohama's waterfront. They could see the huge Ferris wheel from a block away. The tall office buildings of the city were behind them, the waterfront was left with open spaces and short warehouses that were easily dwarfed by the height of the Ferris wheel. As they passed the last warehouse that obscured their view, the fair came into sight. Centred around the wheel other rides and colourful stalls stretched over the open grass and wooden board walks. Even at eleven in the morning the fair still had quite a few people wandering around. Delighted screams could be heard from the roller coaster and laughter and chatter filled the air around them as Tobio and Shouyou made their way into the crowds. The smell of hot chips and burnt sugar waft around them as they pass by the food vendors. Shouyou makes a note to himself to get cotton candy later.

"Ok first must always be the roller coaster," Shouyou states he pulls Tobio towards the rides queue. The taller boy hesitates as he takes in the twisting rails and flying seats. The screams as one of the carriages goes flying down a steep drop does little to calm his nerves. However, Shouyou's fingers are still twisted around his and he can feel the heat from their hands as the smaller boy gives a reassuring squeeze; if Shouyou wanted to go on the roller coaster so would he.

Tobio grumbles as he's pulled into the front seats of the roller coaster. Shouyou ignores his protests. Their safety belts are tightened and the car begins to move. It gives a jolting start before beginning a slow climb.

Shouyou giggles incessantly beside him as they pick up speed. Deafened by wind the dark haired boy's stomach drops as he sees the loop ahead of them. The car picks up momentum on a short, steep drop. It flies up the loop, it's passengers being turned upside down as it completes a full 360 degree turn. Tobio's teeth are clenched and his knuckles are turning white as he grips the safety bar in front of him. Shouyou laughs at Tobio as they begin another climb, "this is the best bit!" He reaches across and grabs Tobio's hands, pulling them from the railing. The taller boy relaxes, he grins at Shouyou for a brief second before they're falling. The whole car screams, arms raised as the exhilaration of the drop and the rush of air that stings at wide eyes and deafens with a roar. The world around them becomes a blur and both boys are grinning as they raise intertwined hands in the air with a scream.

More twists and turns, a few steep drops and voices hoarse from screaming, the car finally comes to a stop. Tobio and Shouyou stumble from the car. Back on solid ground Tobio leans onto Shouyou, his head's still spinning and his stomach, if it weren't already empty, would most likely be relieving itself of its contents. The fiery haired boy giggles, "fun aye,"

"Yeah," Tobio mutters, it wasn't really, but it was an excuse to hold hands.

"Let's check out a few more rides before we stop for lunch!" Shouyou pulls away from stabilising Tobio and skips into the crowd.

They go on the chair swing (twice), the hurricane, one of the many carousels, bumper cars, they even run through the haunted house- much to Tobio's amusement Shouyou spends the entire haunted house squealing as he clung with a death grip to the taller boy. Lunch is typical fair food, soggy hot chips and hotdogs. They visit every game stall and argue at every single one. They spend more money than necessary on trying to win each other the best prizes, sadly neither of them are very good and no grand prizes are won. However, as they reach the end of the game stalls the score is 17 game wins to Shouyou, 12 wins Tobio. Shouyou believes that he's naturally good at fair games, but he's secretly glad for all the practise he's had when visiting fairs with Natsu. They share cotton candy and Shouyou can't stop moving as the sugar high hits him, the sickly sweet sugar melting onto his tongue and giving him sticky fingers.

"Last one," Shouyou states as they make their way to the Ferris wheel.

"Mmhm," Tobio confirms.

The Ferris wheel has completely enclosed carts, each with seats enough for four people. The two boys get a cart to themselves, sitting on opposite sides of the seats as the doors close and they begin to ascend in silence. They both stare out the windows surrounding them, taking in the huge scale of the city and tiny fairground below.

Tobio tears his eyes away from the view to watch Shouyou. The late afternoon sun is a warm glow, it's weak rays reaching through the windows of the cart and highlighting Shouyou's face. Tobio catches himself leaning forward, he pulls back, clearing his throat before giving in. "Scooch over," he waves a hand at Shouyou and the boy complies, allowing space for Tobio next to him. They sit shoulder to shoulder in an awkward silence for a bit.

"So...?" Shouyou questions.

"Thanks," Tobio mumbled, "this was fun."

"That's good." Shouyou chirps, he reaches out to take Tobio's hand and swings their arms a little. Tobio squeezes Shouyou's small hand in his before releasing him.

He doesn't miss the look of hurt confusion that flashes across the small boys face.

He quickly grabs Shouyou's arm, muttering an apology as he spins to face him. He leans forward, so their faces are barely millimetres apart. His heart is racing at the thought of what he's gonna do next and heat rises in his cheeks.

Brown eyes glitter in the light as they widen, pale lips highlighted by the soft sun and Tobio grins. He presses their lips together, Shouyou leaning further into him as he slides his hands round the smaller boys waist, pulling him closer.

The world around them holds its breath and in that moment nothing exists but them. Lips tentatively part and their teeth and tongues meet in clash of dominance. The small fiery haired boy bites on the others bottom lip, using the momentary hesitation in the taller boys movements to deepen the kiss.

Time seems to freeze as the moment last for an eternity, yet at the same time it runs in fast forward and the moment is over all too soon.

They both pull back, breathless. "I think-" Tobio whispered, his lips brushing the soft pale skin of Shouyou's neck as he rested his head on the boys shoulder. "I think this is the best part of fairs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long to write and I'm not very happy with it, sorry.  
> I thought I would have a break and some time over the Christmas and New Year holidays to write but sadly it all turned to chaos and I lost a huge chunk of time where I couldn't get online. Things look to be reasonably sorted now and hopefully I'll be posting the next chapter soon! ^.^


	14. This is it.

It's hard to stay awake through the pain. It's hard to concentrate, or see, even his hearing is blurring into a pulsing throb that fills his head and hurts.

There's a face right in front of his eyes. His vision pulsates, random flashes of colour and bright light assaults him. It's blurry through the tears and the bright light stings. Kenma curls further in on himself as he squeezes his eyes shut. His arms come up to cover his face and his hands grab at his messy hair.

"-enma... I kno... hear me. It... kay... you're o..." He can't make sense of the voice. Every second word is swallowed up by the pounding of his heart as it echoes in his head.

Someone's fingers curl gently around his wrist, golden eyes fly wide open and he flinches back from the touch. The muscles of his back reflexively tense and a strangled whine escapes from his throat before he can bite his tongue. "-ust calm... n. Breathe. Ca... down." Even with his eyes wide open the face in front of him swirls in a kaleidoscope of colours. He can't focus his eyes and closes them again, turning his concentration to the one sentence he had understood. Breathe. He takes a few shuddered breaths, counting the seconds of each inhale and exhale in his head.

"Sta... calm... ay. I'm goin... touch y..." Fingers lightly brush the back of his hand and Kenma doesn't jolt away this time. He's almost got his breathing under control now, so he lets his mind focus on whosever hand it was that was touching him. The hand felt cool on his burning skin, calloused fingers rubbing gently over his knuckles and tracing circles over the back of his hand. "I'm here, Ken... kay. Your okay." The words begin to gain more clarity and he recognises the voice. Kuroo.

His hands come to life and he shakily clutches at Kuroo's hands before they have a chance to withdraw. "Wh-" He chokes over the words, his raspy voice cracking his dry throat and sending him into a coughing fit. "Where am I?" He finally manages a hoarse whisper.

"We're in the spare room at the dorm?" Kuroo's answer comes in the form of a question and Kenma can instantly read Kuroo's confusion as to why he had to ask. Kenma's not going to clarify why he asked though; it was obvious he couldn't remember getting here.

He blinked away tears and colours from his vision, as the pain in his back subsided. Kuroo's face swam into view and the lines of worry that cut across his face made Kenma want to cry again. He shouldn't be seeing that look. He didn't want to see it on anyone's face, ever. Especially Kuroo's. This was exactly why he should have ran away. But before he can think further on that thought Kuroo's pulling him into his arms, one hand gently running through his hair, the other wrapped tightly around his bare shoulders. Kuroo's pulling him close, squeezing him as tight as possible whilst avoiding any contact with his back. Kenma sniffles, rubbing his face in Kuroo's uniform. If he had ran away, he would have to go through this alone.

He listens to Kuroo's nonsensical mumbling and allows himself to feel safe, wrapped in the familiar scents of what he could only describe as home. Kenma's pounding heart falls into a normal rhythm as he rubs his eyes dry. Kuroo's still whispering soft nonsense into his hair and Kenma smiles at the feeling of soft breath and the whisper of Kuroo's lips through his hair. It's one of the hardest smiles he's ever had to make; harder than a fake grin when meeting large groups of people he didn't care to talk to. Inside and out he was breaking, but he had to hold this smile.

He turned his face up to look Kuroo in the eye, his weak smile a mask over how much he wanted to cry. "Thanks Kuroo." He whispers the words, trying his best to appear as if he was holding together. "I'm fine now."

"That's good." Kuroo gives him a weak smile back but he doesn't release his hold on Kenma.

"Maybe we could go get some food?" Kenma doesn't want to push him off but he needs to. It feels wrong, and it absolutely crushes him to know that he's lying, but he can't show Kuroo how he really feels. It so unfair that he's been pulled into this mess with Kenma. He doesn't need to know what it feels like to lose control of yourself, to have your mind ripped apart from your body, to feel yourself torn to pieces, knowing that if you can't pull yourself together that that's it. You'll disappear. So he fakes it. He puts on a smile, acts like it's only a passing moment where he forgot himself and returns to their normal routine.

"Yeah, you skipped lunch." Kuroo replies and finally releases him. Both boys stand and Kenma's head spins but he quickly regains a grip on the world around him and brushes off Kuroo's offered support. It's too early for dinner and the team will be hanging out in their shared sleeping area, so hopefully the kitchen would be empty. Kenma shuffled down the hall behind Kuroo, he wasn't particularly hungry but he couldn't keep brushing food away, no matter how much the act of eating tied his stomach in knots.

They're almost at the door of the kitchen when Kenma feels his world begin to slip once again. A sharp pain from his back shivers through his body and his skin catches fire. Wobbling legs crumple to the floor as he falls forward. His mind and body split for a brief moment and he cries out as he tries to pull himself back together and stop himself from disappearing. It can't happen now. It's not happening now. He just needs to hold together.

His vision blurs once more and he can't breathe. Kuroo's hands are gripping his shoulders, shaking him, trying to pull him up from the floor. It's weird; like he isn't here, he's watching everything fold out as if he hovers over the scene. There's a loud rush of wind through his ears and voices yelling down the hallway around him are muffled in the sound. He can see other members of Nekoma sprinting down the hallway towards them, he sees the bright kaleidoscope of lights swirl through his vision and he can't tell why but he's vaguely aware of the fact that he's screaming.

He's drifting further away now and it's getting harder to hold himself together. He's being ripped to a million pieces, swept away by a harsh cold wind. It's almost peaceful, not being able to feel anything. Maybe he would just let go.

This was it, the end.

For a split second he feels himself thrust back into his own body, he can clearly see the grain of the wooden floor beneath him, feels the heat of Kuroo's strong hands as they struggle to lift him from the floor. Their team is surrounding them, other people's hands hesitantly grabbing him, trying to keep him up. Through a woozy slow motion he lifts himself up, Kuroo's wrapping around him in an instant, pulling him up and hugging him tightly. Kenma can feel his breath over his hot skin as he talks, he can't hear it but he knows he's most likely calling out to him.

"It's okay Kuroo." Kenma whispers and the flutter of breath over him stops as Kuroo squeezes him. "I love you." Three words. Three words that Kenma had never said aloud before in front of so many people. He'd always been comfortable whispering those three words in the safety of when he was alone with Kuroo. Now he didn't care, he'd tell the world if he had the voice and time. He'd scream it to every inch of the know universe and further. Kuroo stops breathing at those three words. Something he'd heard whispered between them for years but had never, until now, been spoken to the world. Those three words, filled with so much more emotion than they ever had, finally took on a new meaning.

This was goodbye.

"No Kenma. Kenma don't do it!" Kuroo's hands grab at his face, lifting his head so he's staring Kenma straight in the eyes. His voice is panicked and Kenma can hear it perfectly clear as it cuts through the shouts of the others around them and the wind that threatens to blow him away. His vision fades and he can feel himself slip away, like the pull of an ocean tide.

"I'm sorry Kuroo."

"Oh God, please don't do it. Please Kenma! I love you. I love you. I love you." Kuroo's rocking them back and forth, his grip digging into Kenma's skin, practically drawing blood. But Kenma didn't care, he couldn't feel.

His vision flashes a bright white and his soul tears into billions of tiny pieces, tossed into a cold wind.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. I'd love for any constructive criticism or guesses as to what happens next.
> 
> Any characters or fandoms you wanna see come up? Let me know and I might try put them in.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll try update at least once a week. I am about to start final year exams so procrastination of important work to the max!


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